Self-Helpless: True Tales of a Working Girl

Infamous Résumé Lies

2007-10-15T11:09:00.000-04:00

During the past few years, the United States has seen a myriad of high-profile individuals -- namely working professionals -- committing a serious crime: résumé fraud. (full article)

The Worst Advice Ever

2007-09-06T13:41:00.000-04:00

I just read this article which was originally published on Hotjobs:

How to Deal With an Office Jerk
by Robert M. Detman, for Yahoo! HotJobs

Office life can have its ups and downs, but having to endure a jerk can make it miserable. Office jerks take on many forms, and thus require creative strategies for dealing with them.

Handling Six Common Types

The Loud Phone-Talker. "Obviously the first step is to pull them aside quietly and ask them to lower their voice when using the phone," says Julie Jansen, a career coach, consultant, and trainer. "If this doesn't stop them, you could dish out the same treatment and stand near their cube on your cell phone and talk loudly. Or you can hold up a sign that says, 'Please turn volume down.'" (Sure, let's all act like jerks now!)

The Hang-Arounder. When confronting the co-worker who chronically lingers to chat when you are trying to make a deadline -- a subtle jerk, but a jerk nonetheless -- try standing up when they enter your office or cube. "The unspoken message of your body language will clearly tell him or her to keep it brief and head for the door," says Ken Lloyd, author of "Jerks at Work: How to Deal With People Problems and Problem People." (or how about: "Hey, I'm sorry I have to cut you off but I have a deadline... see ya!")

The Idea Stealer. There is a strong possibility that this jerk can't distinguish between a good idea and a bad one. "Somewhere along the way, slip in a really bad idea and let the jerk steal that," Lloyd says. However, beware that this might only encourage the jerk to become worse. (maybe you should keep your mouth shut and your ideas to yourself)

The Meeting Monopolizer. Get creative. "Try eliminating the chairs and making it a standup meeting," Lloyd suggests. The monopolizer will likely get thrown off and won't have time to settle into the usual routine of unproductive dominance. (why would you make yourself and everyone in a meeting uncomfortable because you don't have the backbone to put this schmuck in his/her place?)

The Bully. Remember, you're not in high school anymore. "Hold your ground and refuse to be bullied," says Steve Piazzale, a career and life coach who runs BayAreaCareerCoach.com. "They'll usually back off over time." (Do these people know anything about office culture??? The bully will NOT "usually back off over time"!!! These people need to read my book!)

The Boss. Sometimes dealing with a jerk should not be your problem, particularly if you have a manager who is a jerk. In this case you might take a look around the company and notice several jerks. "This may be part of the company culture," Piazzale says. "In which case get out!" (this is the only bit of decent advice in this article)

More General Coping Strategies

Passive. Avoidance is the most obvious solution if you don't want a confrontation with any type of office jerk. "You can go to your boss and ask him to intervene," says Jansen. Or, if things are really unbearable, you could ask to be relocated to another part of the office. (really, you need to develop a spine people!)

Active. Avoidance can backfire if the jerk continues the annoying behavior. Try talking to the person. "Difficult people don't always know they're being difficult," Jansen says. "People generally don't have a very high level of self-awareness, so specific and constructive feedback is important." (another decent bit of advice)

If you must confront a jerk, it is wise to take the high road. Career coach Piazzale says, "Try to understand where the behavior is coming from, and tailor your response to that." (if these "jerks" are bat-shit-crazy there will be NO talking to them -- trust me!)

Bullying tied to mental health problems later

2007-08-19T17:39:00.000-04:00

Reuters published an interesting article about people (men specifically) that bully and are bullied. It indicates that these individuals are far more prone to mental health problems later in life. Maybe this is why the "bad bosses" only seem to get worse with age; there really *is* something wrong with them!

Since I can't really post the article in its entirety here, I'll give you the link. Check it out:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20146910/

Malaysian Employee Fired for Emails About the Boss

2007-05-10T01:31:00.000-04:00

A Malaysian employee was terminated for misconduct after her employer discovered that she sent e-mails from an office computer to friends griping about her superiors. She challenged the dismissal as unfair because her words weren't meant to undermine her superiors; they were only meant as gossip. Surprisingly, though maybe not in Malaysia, she won and was awarded back wages and compensation amounting to approximately $19,000. According to the court, "derogatory, insolent, and impertinent" words said directly to a superior would amount to terminable misconduct, "but if those words are only used behind their backs and only between a few friends," the behavior doesn't amount to misconduct.

Original article by AHI's Employment Law Resource Center .

10 Ways to Unwind After Work - Simple ways to smooth the transition from work to home.

2007-04-27T08:56:00.000-04:00

Find it tough to wind down after a demanding workday? Try these 10 strategies for shifting from office to home mode:

1. Leave work at the office. Resolve to not bring work home in the evening (or limit it to two nights a week if absolutely necessary).

2. Wind down your workday early. About two hours before you leave work, make a list of what you need to accomplish before you go and what you'll tackle tomorrow. You'll have ample time to complete your tasks and can leave feeling like you've wrapped up your day productively -- which leaves less fodder for after-work worry.

3. Have a front-door catchall. Buy a large basket or wooden box to place near your door. Immediately stash your briefcase or work bag there when you walk in the door; don't pick it up again until the next morning.

4. Sit quietly. Before you begin dinner, head to the gym, or pick up your kids, take three to five minutes to close your eyes and breathe deeply. Imagine drawing air into your stomach and exhaling fully. This allows you to clear your mind and empty out the workday stress.

5. Write it down. If a particularly difficult situation at work has made it nearly impossible to relax once you're home, grab a pen and a piece of paper. Write about the incident -- without lifting your pen from the paper -- for three minutes. When you're done venting on paper, tear up the sheet and throw it away.

6. Establish a ritual. Having a routine that you follow every day can help you switch your mindset from work to home. Talk about your kids' days at school as you sit around the kitchen table, or drink a giant glass of lemonade -- pick something you can look forward to every day, as the "official" start of your evening.

7. Reduce clutter. A cluttered home can be overwhelming, make you feel as if you're out of control, and magnify the stresses of the day. Take five minutes before bed each night to straighten up, so you'll have a pleasantly tidy house to come home to tomorrow.

8. Pipe in music. Invest in a portable CD player and pop in your favorite tunes while you fix dinner, pay bills, or do laundry. Upbeat, enjoyable music will make your chores more fun.

9. Schedule chores judiciously. If you expect to do laundry, dishes, and bills in one night, you'll likely feel anxious about getting it all done. Instead, schedule each chore for a different night, or save them for the weekend and simply relax after work.

10. Make your commute enjoyable. Listen to a book on tape or a favorite CD, or use your time on the bus or train to read one chapter of a new novel. Even a few minutes of doing something that makes you happy helps to diffuse the day's stressors.

By Lisa Kovalovich for LHJ.com

Judge dismisses torture suit against county but not parks supervisors

2007-04-26T16:06:00.000-04:00

Westchester County is off the hook in a lawsuit filed by a learning-disabled man who says he was tortured by his supervisor at the county Parks Department.

A federal judge has ruled that Anthony Costabile, 24, of Thornwood failed to file a notice of claim with the county in a timely manner.

But U.S. District Judge William Conner refused to dismiss the suit against three Parks Department supervisors, saying that the notice of claim requirement did not extend to them. Conner also ruled that, contrary to the county's assertions, Costabile's allegations of torture and abuse are enough to constitute a claim under the state's human rights law.

"Indeed, in 33 years on the bench, we have never encountered allegations of mistreatment in the workplace so shockingly malicious and sadistic," Conner said in a 20-page decision filed yesterday in U.S. District Court in White Plains. "Plainly, if they are true, plaintiffs' allegations reveal that defendants violated not only minimum standards of human decency but numerous provisions of law."

A spokeswoman for Westchester County Executive Andrew Spano declined to comment.
Costabile's lawyer, Gerald Resnick, did not return calls seeking comment.

Costabile claims he was tortured in the summer of 2003 and again in the summer of 2004 while working for the department at Glen Island Park in New Rochelle.

He names supervisor Roberto Alcantara as his tormentor in several alleged incidents of abuse at the park, many of them involving shrink wrap.

Alcantara shrink-wrapped Costabile to a chair and then set the shrink wrap on fire when Costabile could not free himself, Costabile and his mother, Candida, claim in their lawsuit. In another alleged incident, Alcantara shrink-wrapped Costabile to a chair with wheels, rolled him out to the parking lot at Glen Island and turned a hose on him, dousing him with such force he nearly choked. Alcantara also is accused of shrink-wrapping Costabile to a chair and then dumping buckets of cold water on him, causing Costabile to strain so hard to free himself that he developed a hernia that required surgery. The supervisor was also accused of verbally abusing Alcantara, calling him "retard" and "idiot," according to the Costabiles' complaint.

Costabile was fired in 2004 for leaving work 15 minutes early, even though he had permission to do so, according to the complaint. But the county says he was fired for leaving a piece of equipment unattended.

He and his mother sued the county, Alcantara, and two of Alcantara's bosses in May 2006. The county filed a motion to dismiss in September. Three weeks later, Costabile filed papers seeking Conner's permission to file a late notice of claim. In yesterday's decision, Conner denied Costabile's motion, saying that he was not empowered to grant it, that Costabile would have had to ask a state Supreme Court justice for such a waiver. But Conner said even if he was authorized, he would not grant Costabile's request because the request came more than two years after the alleged incidents, well beyond the state's deadline of one year and 90 days.

The original article can be viewed at LoHud.com.

You've Just Been Promoted... Now What?

2007-03-29T10:07:00.000-04:00

You worked hard, became the go-to person on your team and finally were promoted to manager. You feel that you've arrived. And you may have already made your first mistake.

"A lot of people think there's some glory in getting this title of manager" and take the job because of the success it implies, not because they really want to manage other people, said Gerard H. Gaynor, author of "What Every New Manager Needs to Know."

But never fear. Gaynor and other experts have tips on five common mistakes new managers make -- and how you can avoid them.

Take Time to Learn

You naturally want to show the people who promoted you that they made the right decision, so it's tempting to try to make big changes right away. "There's always pressure to do something soon to get some visibility," said Libby Pannwitt, a career counselor and principal of Work Life Design Group in San Carlos, California.

But it's better to take it slow. "There's an awful lot to learn," Pannwitt said. "Who are the other players? What is your place in the hierarchy? What is the contribution that's expected of you?" And if you spend some time listening and learning, when you do take on a big project you'll be more likely to succeed.

Share the Work

If you're feeling overwhelmed with all the work you have to do, take a careful look to be sure you're not still trying to do your old job as well. It's a common mistake of new managers, said Carol W. Ellis, a business and career management consultant and in Placitas, New Mexico, and author of "Management Skills for New Managers."

"In many cases they've been rewarded for doing work," Ellis said. "Therefore they're afraid to give it up." Remember, though, that your old job is now someone else's responsibility -- and yours is to make sure your team succeeds, not to do all the work yourself.

Listen to Your Staff

Making decisions without getting your staff's input can cause two problems. First, you won't benefit from the insights they may have had about how best to go about your project. Second, your staff will not have any investment in making sure the project is successful.

"If employees don't feel that they were involved in the decision, then they can have all kinds of excuses for why this program or project is not going to work," said Carole C. Edman, a human resources consultant and coach in San Jose, California.

Share Good News

If someone compliments you on your team's work, tell your team. Some new managers "don't think people need to know when they do a good job," Ellis said. But that's not true. Sharing praise helps build trust.

Expand Your Perspective

As a manager, you have to expand your thinking to know what other groups are doing and how their work and your group's affect each other.

"Your scope of interest must go beyond the scope of interest of your group," Gaynor said. "You just can't sit back and say, 'I've got my own little shop over here.'"

Original article published on Yahoo! Hotjobs.

Multitasking Will Make Your Brain Explode

2007-03-28T11:47:00.000-04:00

I live for multitasking. I would get nothing done without it. I watch TV while I'm writing, read a story in another window, keep a magazine propped to one side, and answer emails/the phone/the doorbell on the side. And according to a new study this is all going to lead to my ruin.

The New York Times reports on a new study that basically says multitasking actually makes you less efficient than if you concentrated on one thing at a time. I'm not entirely sure that's what it says, though. I was talking on the phone while reading the article. (Kidding!)

To some extent, this is common sense. It's long been known that talking on a cell phone while driving a car is exceedingly dangerous. Some studies say it's just as bad as driving drunk.

But the science of the phenomenon is intriguing. I feel more productive when doing multiple things at once, but maybe I'm not. The key, says the researcher, is that you lose time and focus when you switch between tasks. Try it for yourself. Type half of a sentence. Go check your email. Then come back and try to finish your thought. It's tough to get back in the groove of what you were doing.

The expert advice? Check email once an hour. And turn off outside distractions except, maybe, for soft background music.

As for me, I'm going to experiment with checking my email less frequently and see how that works for my concentration. An hour? No, but I am changing my "check for new messages" setting in Outlook from checking once every two minutes to every five.

So, multitaskers: Still think working on more than one thing at a time makes you more productive? Sound off!

Original article published on Yahoo! Tech.

Five ways to kill productivity or Your employees are not trained monkeys

2007-03-27T12:16:00.000-04:00

Original article can be found at Saving Grace Virtual Assistants, LLC.

Some managers envision in their heads, the perfect rows of 3x6 cubicles. The grey walls, and blue grey fabric, with the metal railing tops, stacked side by side, aisle by aisle as far as the eye can see from the manager's office. The 15 inch monitor, occupying half the desk space, the Qwerty keyboard, and two button mouse, and phone, another third, leaving just enough room for a piece of paper and pen to jot notes on. No room for personal items, cups of coffee, glasses of water, not even work related files. The tower workstation sits on the floor, under the desk, it's blinking green and amber lights signaling that work is getting down, and there is not nearly enough room for legs and feet to fit comfortably under the desk besides it. The armless chairs protruding partially into the aisles, in which the trained worker monkeys sit; headset in position, fingers poised to type, the data entry screen flickering in anticipation, waiting for the ACD to route the next call in the phone system roulette. There is no extraneous thought, there is only work; take the call, type the information, save to the system, hang up, Repeat.

Some managers might envision this as the perfect world; maybe, but only if you work with trained monkeys. So read on for five surefire ways to kill morale and productivity:

Treat them like trained monkeys. – Behave as if they, the workers, have the brain capacity of a legume, and that you, the monkey trainer, are far superior to them.

Micro Manage. - This also is part of monkey trainer syndrome. If you want to micro manage, you must specify in agonizing minutia, what you want done and how you want it done. This may sound like a good idea, but miss one small detail and the whole thing will be a mess. If you need to micro manage, you should probably be doing it yourself, because it will never get done to your standards.

Always Criticize, Condemn, and Complain. - Trained monkeys will never really understand what you are saying, however, they will usually cower in some manner due to the tone of your voice. Things may change in their performance and behavior, but it is usually only temporarily, until you have to do it again, or they escape.

Don't Praise Anyone. - Trained monkeys don't need praise, they need treats, like bananas, so why waste the time on using praise, when it won't be appreciated anyway. You have more important things to do.

Let them know that monkeys are a dime a dozen. – Make it very clear to all your monkeys that they are very easily replaced. They should be grateful to you that you spend all your time: training, micro managing, criticizing, complaining, and condemning, and occasionally throwing bananas.

Employees are people. They have feelings, independent thought, and aspirations to be more than a trained monkey; as shocking as that may seem to some. Treat them like a trained monkey and you will ensure that you won't get anything more from them than performing the basic trained task. They won't contribute to the profitability or growth of the organization. They won't be empowered, feel appreciated, or make any effort to help in your advancement or the company's.

If you treat your employees like trained monkeys, they may just act like it, and they will treat your customer as if they were trained monkeys too.

Cyber Career Killers

2007-03-09T11:09:00.000-05:00

Technology is supposed to be good for your career, right? After all, with Blackberrys and other devices, you can stay on top of work developments around the clock. But when used unwisely, technology can be a career saboteur.

On the job hunt

When it comes to applying for a job, the days of stamps and envelopes have passed. The vast majority of resumes and cover letters are submitted electronically, making a person's e-mail address an important piece of contact information. But using a cute, playful or downright inappropriate e-mail address can be a quick way to eliminate your chances of earning a call from interested employers. Consider "surfgod@example.com" or "borntoparty@example.com." While your friends may get a kick out of your sense of humor, those outside your circle won't be in on the joke. The best type of e-mail address to use for professional correspondence is one that includes your name or a combination of your name and some numbers. Here are two examples: "roberthalf@example.com" and rhalf1948@example.com.

Another technology trap to watch out for is attaching the wrong document to an employment application. More than one professional has had their hopes dashed after inadvertently submitting an outdated resume, incomplete cover letter or even documents completely unrelated to the job search. A good rule of thumb: Once you attach a document to an e-mail, open it before hitting send to ensure it's the correct one.

In the workplace

New federal rules enacted at the end of last year make it more likely your employer is saving electronic communications among employees. That's even more reason business e-mail should be all business. Off-color or offensive jokes or messages should be immediately deleted and never forwarded to others. Discourage friends from sending them to you in the first place. Also avoid e-mailing about sensitive topics, such as politics or office gossip. Not only could your messages prove embarrassing, they also could land you in trouble with your employer. Don't be fooled into thinking that your exchange will remain private. According to anti-spam firm ProofPoint, 38 percent of companies with 1,000 or more workers employ staff to read or analyze outgoing e-mail messages. If you must send a personal note, use a personal e-mail account and send it from your personal computer.

The same holds true for your Internet activities. Your employer has the right to monitor the activities you conduct on your company-supplied computer and Internet connection -- and many do. In fact, a poll by the American Management Association and the ePolicy Institute indicates that 26 percent of companies have terminated employees over Internet misuse. So, avoid visiting off-limits Web sites, viewing online video and checking your Internet auctions until you're out of the office.

Of course, for many professionals, the computer holds less interest that an iPod or other portable music player. While some companies allow employees to don headphones while on the job, check with your boss about your firm's policy before doing so. Even if this activity is condoned, think twice about playing your music too loudly. Use headphones instead. Just don't spend all of your day listening to hot hits. Show your employer you're engaged in the job.

Outside the office

Even outside the office, workers aren't immune to technology gaffes. When meeting with clients or other business contacts for lunch or dinner, interrupting the conversation to answer a ringing cell phone could immediately sour the mood. The simple fix: Place your cell phone on silent mode and let voice mail answer any calls. Even if set on "vibrate," your phone might still make noise. If you must take an incoming call or answer an urgent e-mail, excuse yourself and make it brief.

Also, keep tabs on your use of your cell phone and Blackberry use. If your firm provides you with these tools, you need to follow your company's usage policy, even if you make calls outside of work hours or to personal acquaintances.

Never before has technology been so central to the way people work. By being aware of business protocol for e-mail, Internet use and cell phones, you can be sure these tools work for you, and not against you.

Robert Half International Inc. is the world's first and largest specialized staffing firm with a global network of more than 350 offices throughout North America, Europe, Asia, Australia and New Zealand. For more information about our professional services, please visit www.rhi.com. See the full article here.

For more information on email and job-hunting advice, check out these original posts as well: Think Your Emails Are Secure?, How Do You Spend Your Lunch Hour?, and To email or not to email?

It's True: Meetings Make Us Stupid!

2007-03-03T09:09:00.000-05:00

Brainstorming sessions backfire when group thinking clouds decisions.

People have a harder time coming up with alternative solutions to a problem when they are part of a group, new research suggests.

Scientists exposed study participants to one brand of soft drink then asked them to think of alternative brands. Alone, they came up with significantly more products than when they were grouped with two others.

The finding could be good news for advertisers who buy spots during big events like the Super Bowl, since consumers often view those commercials with others.

The clouded thinking might also extend into corporate boardrooms.

“When a group gets together, they can miss out on good options,” study team member H. Shanker Krishnan told LiveScience. This could mean ordering from a pizza place advertised on television even if there’s a better option, or making a poor decision in the boardroom. “Whether it’s with family or a group of co-workers, we could very quickly fixate on things and all come up with the same options.”

The research appears in this month's issue of the Journal of Consumer Research.

Yeah, what he said. The researchers speculate that when a group of people receives information, the inclination is to discuss it. The more times one option is said aloud, the harder it is for individuals to recall other options, explained Krishnan, associate professor of marketing at Indiana University.

Another contributing factor is variation in learning and memory styles. People store and retrieve information in myriad ways, so in a group situation, the conversation could cause individuals to think about the cues differently than they would if they were alone.

Krishnan said individuals, whether students, executives or football fans, should take time to consider the facts on their own before coming to a consensus.

What Women Do Wrong at Work

2007-03-02T16:18:00.000-05:00

Wrapping up the series on "How women sabotage themselves in the workplace", the following are more issues that Debra Burrell CSW, claims women are guilty of doing:

Women resent being told what to do. Women are generally less comfortable with a hierarchal, “report only to your immediate supervisor” framework. While men may be comfortable with clear lines of authority, most women prefer to view work as a collaborative effort. We want to reach a concensus, respect all participants equally, regardless of position. We want to understand why we have to do something and mightly resent “Because I said so” as an explanation. Our need for inclusion is greater than our ability to be subordinate.

Caring about personal lives is seen as off point. Women are basically curious and care about other’s personal lives. We like to know who is married; single, just had a baby, where people went on vacation, if they bought a new home, etc. It’s one way that we connect to others and build relationships – by caring about the details in people’s personal lives. Yet a woman who spends too much time chit chatting – passing around birthday cards, ooohing and ahhhing of vacation/child/pet photos may be taken less seriously than her position and responsibilities demand. Our interest in others as full human beings is perceived as a waste of time.

Women give away too much credit. A woman’s tendency is to want to be liked. Therefore, we can be excessively validating and complimentary in order to get on people’s “good sides”. We say about others what we would like said about us. “I don’t know what I would do without my assistant Janet.” “This report would just not be as good if I didn’t have Bob’s expertise on the computer.” This creates a climate in which colleagues and assistants really do think we wouldn’t make it if it weren’t for them. It also contributes to the perception that we must need more help than our less effusive colleagues.

Women aren't likely to ask or fight for what they want. A man will go into his boss’ office, and ask for a raise. A woman will sit at her desk, thinking, “If I do a really good job, someone is going to notice. I shouldn’t have to ASK for recognition, or a raise, or a promotion.” We are the same way when it comes to personal gifts… if we have to ask for flowers, then what’s the point? We want it to come freely. What we don’t understand is that all employers will try to get us to accept the lowest possible compensation for the longest possible time. We don’t want to think that if we really wanted it, we would be willing to fight for it. We need to be willing to send the message “We want to play in the game”.

Women perceive criticism and correction as a personal attack. It hurts to hear we spoke too much at a meeting, or no one liked our presentation or that others find us difficult (who me?). The challenge is to take what’s said and understand our impact on others and make changes where possible.

Women tend to believe that “No” always means no. Women are polite. So if we hear someone say, No, we think it means no - a straightforward don’t-ask-again. A man however, has grown up hearing no from girls and discovering that sometimes No really means not yet or maybe. Another example would be when a guy tries out for a sports team – and will try and try and try whenever possible to get on. A girl will try to get on a team, and if she is rejected will automatically think I’m not good enough and then not try again. Women need to know it’s okay to try again and not be afraid to keep going for something. When a woman gives up after the first No, it looks as if she isn’t trying that hard.

Debra Burrell CSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice as well as the Regional Training Director of the Mars Venus Institute. She can be reached by calling 212-754-6232. You can also visit her website at http://www.debraburrell.com/.

How Women Can Be Successful in Business (part II)

2007-02-28T11:57:00.001-05:00

Continuing from yesterday's post: women are way more likely to sabotage themselves in the workplace. Per Debra Burrell CSW, here's another reason why:

"Women interpret withdrawal from communication as abandonment. They take a lack of communication personally.

A man’s tendency, under stress, is to isolate himself. His door is closed, literally and figuratively. A man will attempt to shut out all extraneous situations to better focus on the problem at hand. Interruptions are experienced with irritation and abruptness. A woman who doesn’t realize this, will let her imagination get the best of her, and jump to the conclusion that she is not “liked”, or that something is going on behind her back (i.e. taking it personally). She may tell herself that she is deliberately being excluded for something important, and then have an attitude that is inappropriate and problematic based on her perceptions."

Debra Burrell CSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice as well as the Regional Training Director of the Mars Venus Institute. She can be reached by calling 212-754-6232. You can also visit her website at http://www.debraburrell.com/.

Do Women Sabotage Themselves in the Workplace? (Part I)

2007-02-27T14:12:00.000-05:00

I was talking to my friend Debra Burrell recently about how women sabotage themselves in the workplace. It is her belief that women do the damnest of things that put them at a great disadvantage. So as I present Debra’s points over the next few days I ask you to think about it and determine whether you’re guilty of doing the same:

Women seek input and are seen as indecisive and lacking in leadership qualities.

When a woman is faced with a problem, her tendency is to explore options out loud. She researches the situation by trying to figure out who may have faced something similar, determining what the history is within the organization, and getting opinions from respected peers. We discuss problematic situations we face with those who we want to keep “in the loop”. We do it as a sign of courtesy. Unfortunately, this tendency to discuss with others can make the woman who is seeking information, appear indecisive and uncertain. This is especially so in a male oriented environment where the general rule is not to present problems unless you have solutions.

Debra Burrell CSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice as well as the Regional Training Director of the Mars Venus Institute. She can be reached by calling 212-754-6232. You can also visit her website at www.debraburrell.com.

Top 10 Ways to Get Blacklisted at Work

2007-02-26T10:36:00.001-05:00

When announcing a reduction in force, companies typically frame it as a measure to reorganize or cut costs. In some instances, that's actually true. However, often, it's a way of cleaning house -- getting rid of "deadwood" or "difficult" employees without incurring liability.

In her book 'Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn't Want You to Know,' former human resources executive Cynthia Shapiro says that she has seen organizations initiate a restructuring just to get rid of one or two people.

Stuart Watson, an independent human resources consultant, says he's witnessed the same.

"Periodic restructurings allow managers to purge employees they don't like in a way that averts lawsuits and saves face for everyone involved," he says. "Whether formal or informal, nearly every company or manager has a blacklist of employees they'd just as soon not have to deal with. The trick to surviving a layoff is to not be on that list!"

Here are 10 common ways one can get blacklisted:

1. Embarrass, insult or argue relentlessly with your manager. Your boss holds the key to your future with this company. Offending him or her is career suicide.

2. Say negative things about your employer or its mission every chance you get. Companies want employees who will support their initiatives -- not sabotage them.

3. Be at the top of your pay range without providing added value. From a business perspective, the ideal employee is one who is competent, shows potential for growth and is near the middle or bottom of the pay range. If your pay falls high in the range, you best be sure you're giving your employer its money's worth!

4. Take the work-life balance credo too far.You shouldn't routinely leave early to watch soccer practice or spend more than 15 minutes a day conducting personal business on company time. Even the most family-friendly of companies wants a worker who puts in the hours and is focused on the job!

5. Complain to HR about your boss or co-workers without first trying to work it out directly. Failure to handle your own problems can signal immaturity, a possible lack of people skills and can get you labeled as "difficult."

6. Use HR as a confessional for personal or professional problems.As nice as they may seem, remember, HR reps are there to serve the company's best interests, not yours; they likely will report any conversations they've had with you to your manager.

7. Make a highly visible mistake. To publicly atone for its sins or set an example for other employees, corporations will often offer up a scapegoat.

8. Use your boss or co-worker as a therapist. No matter how sympathetic they may appear, your colleagues have their own problems and lives to get home to.

9. Tell your colleagues that you're planning on taking maternity or family leave -- or filing for workers compensation -- before telling your boss. If your boss or a superior hears about your plans from someone other than you, they could lay you off to save the company money and hassle and claim they had no idea of your personal situation.

10. Don't bother to bond with your new boss or colleagues. You'll come off as distrustful, standoffish or socially ill-adept. Besides, it's much easier to fire someone with whom you don't have a relationship."

Bottom line, it pays to be a little paranoid," Watson advises. "Examine your image and actions from the company's perspective to make sure you're viewed as adding value. You want to be seen as someone who is competent, professional, supportive of the company and easy to work with."

Copyright 2006 CareerBuilder.com.

Lightbulbs Usually Mean Bright Ideas

2007-02-25T21:27:00.000-05:00

After a hefty hiatus, I decided to come back with a joke that a friend just shared with me:

How to get "sick leave":

I needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her"...And where do you think you're going?"

(You're gonna love this.....)

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

10 Signs That Indicate You've Gone Cubicle Crazy

2007-02-07T07:32:00.000-05:00

Many companies have a containment policy about cubicle decoration. Of course some don't - and this is to give employees some sense of freedom to include at their desk some items and photos that help get them through the day. So in some office environments it's a way to keep morale up. Some people however, lose all control.

If you feel you are on the borderline, watch out; you could be spurring innocent bystanders to more cubicle madness.

The following are 10 signs that indicate your cubicle may be overly adorned:

1. Do you need trademark protection for pictures or images of your cube ?

2. Does the new employee tour feature people walking by your cubicle ?

3. Do film students approach you daily asking to use your cube as a set?

4. Is the net worth of the collectibles in your cube more than your rent?

5. Do the electrical gadgets and settings for your cube require a special permit from Maintenance?

6. Do friends and co-workers ask to borrow your cube or pretend it's theirs for visitors or dates?

7. Does your cubicle have its own website and Youtube.com video?

8. Do branch offices in other division campuses of your company have copycats of your cube and wannabe cubicles with different themes?

9. There is a petition circulating to get your cubicle in the Annual Report.

10. The competition has approached you on the sly with a job offer, as long as you bring the Cube Magic with you.

The Cr@p Sandwich: “Constructive” Criticism from the Boss

2007-02-06T21:53:00.000-05:00

It’s great when the boss gives you a compliment. It’s even better when it’s genuine. I don’t know about you, but my favorite is when I used to get:

“I appreciate what you did with this report. Of course, there was a comma missing on page 219 of 376 which makes me think you need to spend a little more attention to detail, but otherwise the report looks good.”

OR (as in a performance review):

“Worker Bee A streamlined “The X Report” and completed a major overhaul that cut man-hours by 50%. Of course, we expected man-hours to be cut by 51%. Still, we look forward to more pro-active work by this employee.”

My point is this: you can have the freshest, tastiest slices of bread around. But as soon as you stuff it with crap it loses its appeal quickly. Who wants to eat a sandwich when the insides taste bad?

If you’re going to pay a compliment on a job well done, do it and move on. Pick another conversation for areas that need improvement.

Using Feedback to Motivate

2007-02-02T17:46:00.000-05:00

Entrepreneur magazine surveyed their readers to find out the most important issues on their brain for 2007 (January issue).

#1 on that list is retaining key workers (68%).

I think the masses are divided on the motivation issue. People are either on one side or the other; there doesn’t seem to be an in between. Motivation is what people have when they love their jobs. And guess what, it DOES affect a company’s bottom line when its employees love their job. The exact opposite can be said when they can’t stand it anymore and need to flee or run the risk of going postal.

What’s one thing you can do to help motivate your employees? Give feedback. This doesn’t mean you go out telling them what a horrible job they did and how could they be so stupid to make this mistake or whatever. If they goofed on something there’s right way and a wrong way to proceed. What I just told you is the wrong way. Likewise, if an employee did something particularly well then you need to let them know this too – because you want them to continue doing it!

Give feedback often; don’t wait for annual performance reviews to practice this. But before you dive head first into giving feedback, you need to know a few things. In Motivational Management by Alexander Hiam, the author explains that feedback works best when it meets the following criteria. It is:

Specific – so the employee can relate it to identifiable behaviors or actions.

Accurate – this leads to helpful insights, not confusion or anger.

Informative – gives insight into how to do things differently and better.

Controllable – relates to behaviors or actions the employee can change.

“Your goal should be to stimulate employees to improve their own judgment so they can monitor their own performances more effectively.”

Amen.

Conference Call Pet Peeves

2007-02-01T07:50:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when you have to get through that morning meeting, you have to gird your loins and grit your teeth for audio conference hell. For many employees this may be the ultimate test of patience, cunning, verbal defence, and ability to survive. For others, it’s the death knell, the black raven of their work week.

Ever get through a conference call with a few colleagues or the entire sales branch and just feel like you want to lie down... or jab a knitting needle in your ear? Ever feel numb from hearing too many facts and figures, or too many people trying to be heard? Ever want to pick up a chair and send it flying through the window? This is because you are forced to act as though real communication is going on.

In the caveman era, grouped social hunters and gatherers massed in the same area in primitive cultures, saving the need for conference calls. Today, we are forced to stare at a small plastic speaker or worse, a video screen to communicate the same dull details that make us nod off at our own desks.

While studies have not ye shown the deleterious effects of conference calls on human health and development of homo sapiens, this much is clear: Man was not made to group around a tiny speaker at work for more than an hour. For any reason.

Conference call pet peeves are many, but these are the top five.

The Chirper

This person talks at a level that makes you careful to back it away from the glass of your monitor, and makes your countertop or nearby coffee mugs start to shake. You put the receiver or speakerphone closer or farther away, depending on what you can stand. You tune out the noise, and when asked to repeat a detail or answer a question, you wake from a sound sleep.

The Accent

There’s nothing wrong with having an accent, as long as the conference call is conducted in the same language. But having someone stumble through presentations on the line because the boss wants them to learn English is like having fingernails scraped across a chalkboard.

Accents work with difficulty because when audio is the only medium of communication, it becomes much more important. Instead of concentrating on the key points, people on seven continents are working to help Gilberto finish a sentence.

The radio announcer

You have to brace for calls from the ‘radio announcer”. Most likely this is someone who has been told they have a great voice. One time too many. The radio announcer will talk at full volume, gaily and robustly hopping through almost every statement and sentence with attitude and more. It’s unnerving and exhausting.

The radio announcer doesn’t know when to quit and needs hemming in. They’ll open a new item or issue no matter how long the call goes. You can get lucky if they schedule the call you participate in late, after the radio announcer is talked down a notch.

The Guest

The guest is wearisome because callers have to remember not to discuss anything that person might not be allowed to know, and tolerate their rhapsodizing about events and issues nobody else knows about. Being polite to someone who breaks in and interrupts the normal flow of the call can screw everything up.

For this reason it’s tough including people outside the company. They may bring up issues that unwise participants may not have been coached to keep mum about. It’s also prone to make people angry that other groups or divisions have merit or privileges they don’t. After a call like this, give everyone a wide berth for 20 minutes.

The Little Girl

The little girl type is the worst, because it’s mind-blowing to hear a forty year old plus woman try to talk like a young girl. The cotton-candy, excited or jinked-voice just grates. When deep-voiced men state numbers and talk money in the millions, a hesitant, shy, breathy, yet headstrong woman can sound like …something else.

These days, people who work in business, especially women, know exactly which cues they are giving off. If the Little Girl needs to get in the middle of a duel or take sides, just let it go. Any response means this bid for undivided attention will occur again and again. It may mean a shot of insulin is needed. Listeners just chafe at having to hear it.

***

If any of these five types are mixed together, the combination can be lethal. Combine this with any of the other types above, and you’ve got a killer conference call on your hands. If two opponents battle it out, take bets or place money on the longest shot.

You may just make enough for a cappuccino or something stronger to take edge off after the endless round of conference calls is over for the day.

Iowa Woman Fired for Journal is Denied Unemployment

2007-01-29T12:07:00.000-05:00

Three words for this woman: what an idiot. I was glad to hear that her unemployment benefits were denied. This is the reason why some bosses go overboard with the micromanagement. After an experience like this, who blames a manager for wanting to know what their staff is doing all the time?

Frankly, I’d like to know how Ms. Bauer was able to maintain her 300-page handwritten journal for so long without being caught. And after she was told to cease and desist on company time, how long did it take for someone to notice that she was typing everything up on the computer? I mean, didn’t anybody notice?

I just find it interesting since so many people kill themselves at work to get things done. Many times, these are the people that either never receive proper recognition from their boss or – even better - they only get a hard time from them. It’s people like Ms. Bauer that give the honest workers a bad name.

Believe me, I’ve experienced a range of bosses and office cultures. When things were at their worst it still never occurred to me to slack off just because I was stressed. I’m sympathetic to Ms. Bauer’s depression or stress or whatever it was that made her write the journal in the first place – but come on. Grow up, get a job you actually like and are willing to work at and take some Zoloft until you can actually get into a more suitable environment.

In one of the news articles I read, she even goes on to say how she can probably put her journal into a book and sell it. The sad thing is, she can probably do just that. And I’d buy a copy.

Other Signs that Indicate it's Time to Bail at Work

2007-01-28T13:06:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday (1/24/07), I talked about the implications of not being able to get out of bed for work in the mornings. This is one of the more obvious signs that you're dreading going in to work. Whether it bores you to tears or stresses you to tears, you need to pay attention to the signs. If these start happening to you, it may be time to dust off the resume, give it a facelift and march on to a different job somewhere else.

Here are some other indicators that you may be (ok, probably ARE) unhappy at your job:

You can't escape your bat-$#@%-crazy manager; he/she/it pops into your dreams and continues to walk all over your self esteem by telling you "it's not good enough" or correcting your emails for grammar and punctuation.

You spend far more time than usual looking at job websites and daydreaming about jobs elsewhere.

You complain to your friends about your job... incessantly.

You have trouble sleeping on Sunday night because you're afraid of what you'll encounter on Monday morning.

You call in sick when you really feel fine.

Again, these are just a few of the signs pointing to problems with your job. If you have issues such as these cropping up then you owe it to yourself to get on with it and find something you want to do. Eventually your boss and/or coworkers are going to catch on and when this happens, you're life will be even more miserable.

Do something while you can.

Watch What You Say at Work

2007-01-27T00:48:00.000-05:00

Often it’s too late when you find out some uncomfortable truths about the people you work with. Just in case you feel the urge to blab, make sure you’re willing to walk out the door. People love gossip but hate a tattletale. This means the wrong people are on the hook.

It may be outlined in the corporate philosophy that honesty is the best policy, and an honor system is in place, but most employers pay this lip service. When a situation actually confronts them, they flail and look for someone to point a finger at (especially if it helps them to feel better about themselves).

There tends to be safety in numbers but good luck trying to get others to join in going up against a boss or coworker. They may put up a tough front all along, but in the face of human resources and managerial scrutiny they turn to mealy-mouthed mush. Don’t be goaded into acting on someone else’s behalf unless you want to be hoisted with their petard as well.

1. Making More Money than the Other Guy.

If you know Emery is making more money than Selma, even though Selma has been with the company for more time and has more education, keep quiet. Besides, many companies have confidentiality clauses in regards to salary disclosure. This can have some serious repercussions if you get caught in the middle. Of course there are those that may throw blame anyway (even if it’s completely unwarranted because that’s just how some people are). The point is, if you're guilty you run the risk of being found out and fired.

2. History of Sexual Harassment/Drug Use.

Technically, drug use is a confidential issue. Ms.Workerwitnesseseverything emailed me a story about how she was working in an office where one employee’s drug screen came back positive for cocaine. Within seconds everyone knew. What's worse was the guy could tell that the word was out. I’m guessing he wished the earth would open and swallow him whole. (This is just another reminder about how careful you need to be when it comes to disclosing anything about your personal life. Do what I used to do: lie [of course I dated a coworker which is why I lied]. The people that were my true friends knew where it was at, anyone else, I could have cared less. Being a writer has its advantages – it allowed for some creativity in my day. Besides, people will make up details as they want anyway. They need to get a life!)

3. Inappropriate Rewards or Expense Account Approval

Don’t let the “informal nature” of chatting with coworkers fool you. If they ask about what kinds of spending your department is doing on advertising or how big the expense account statements were for March, be tactful. Most companies have people who exploit their expense account by entertaining new business clients to the limit. They always leverage knowledge of another employee’s approvals against the boss and the accounting department. Don’t give away this ammunition or you will be costing the company money. Guess what happens when this news gets out?

Just some things to think about.

Waking Up is Hard to Do

2007-01-24T10:17:00.000-05:00

And it's particularly hard to do when you have no motivation to face your job. This is a sign that things might not be so great with work. You need to think about that. What's causing it?

I always used to wake up early on my own and had no problems hopping out of bed (and yes, I used to hop). Even on Mondays. Snooze was not a word in my vocabulary. But then things started changing for me at work and I ceased hopping out of bed. Then I *gasp* started hitting snooze. Then I snoozed so many times that I had to set the time 10 minutes fast and account for the amount of "snoozing" I'd do.

Then I moved my alarm clock to the other side of the room so it would force me out of bed. What happened? I either hit Snooze and jumped back into bed or I let the bad morning radio program I had it set to ramble on. Most morning radio programs are pretty annoying too.

For me, I knew I despised my job (which I used to love). There were things about it that were never going to change and I knew it. For a long time I hunted for a new job until the bright idea came to me that I could just work for myself. I'm now back to waking up with a spring in my step ( and I never let the radio alarm sound off for more than 3 seconds).

But if you have this kind of trouble getting out of bed, it can mean that you're dreading the day ahead of you. Is it your responsibilities that are dragging you down? Too much monotony? Maybe you can ask for a new project for a shift in responsibilites. If that fails, seek a transfer to a different department at your company.

If it's the boss that's creating the worries then make it a point to have a sit-down and see what happens. Don't gripe about how miserable you are; ask about new challenges you want to undertake. You will appear motivated for stepping up to the plate. If sit-downs fail, or if your boss is simply a jerk (or coworkers for that matter) then it might be time to move on.

Think about it.

Trouble Brewing at the Office?

2007-01-22T13:11:00.000-05:00

There are usually signs pointing to trouble at the office before any big changes like termination come along. The general idea is to be tuned in to such changes so you’re not completely off guard.

As laid out in Firing Back: Power Strategies for Cutting the Best Deal When You’re about to Lose Your Job by Jodie-Beth Galos and Dr. Sandy McIntosh, these changes include:

· Changes in the behavior of your co-workers, subordinates, and boss (co-workers won’t want to catch the “bad luck” or “failure” disease and the boss who previously gave you leeway to get your job done now has you on a really short leash)

· Changes in job performance feedback (either you now receive none or your previously good reviews are now dismal… and you don’t know why)

· Changes in your assignments and responsibilities (you’re plucked from a high-visibility position [and it’s given to your subordinate!] and shoved into a darkened corner where it is expected you will be completely forgotten)

· Changes in your perks (they’ll be noticeable like you’ll take a huge hit in your bonus – or you won’t have one – and your prior freedom coming and going to the restroom now comes under ridiculously close scrutiny)

· Changes in company management (changes in management can sometimes mean change-ups in staff)

· Changes in the company’s financial position (whether it’s from merging or just the market’s gone bad or any number of other reasons – keep your eyes and ears open!)

You should beware: the first four of the “changes” listed could very well mean that management wants you out but has no backbone to fire you. It could. However, if you notice these things going on, be wary… and start giving serious consideration to finding a new job or implementing a gameplan for if the day comes when you are let go.

When You Don't Like the Boss

2007-01-19T09:55:00.000-05:00

I came across this blog post and had to mention it. It's about what it means when you don’t like the boss.

So what does it mean? Here's the gist of it:

Bosses are there to guide and support their staff. They’re also there to “maintain work harmony between team members.”

The article goes on to say that conflicts with the boss are either personal or professional. I agree with what the author writes – I do. HOWEVER… there's a lot left out. The article suggests that it’s because there is a problem with the employee that the employee has the problem with the boss and ends up leaving. Considering all the evidence and studies so recently done on this topic, I’d say that perhaps he needs to rethink that.

I mean, what happens when the boss fails at being a good manager?

Are there bad employees out there? Of course there are. However, evidence points to the fact that it is because of bad bosses that people leave their jobs.

Another thing to consider is the “set up to fail” syndrome”: it sometimes happens that bosses (both good AND bad) inadvertently set their employees up to fail [in a nutshell: an otherwise good employee fails on a project or idea and the boss comes down on them to “fix” the problem but ends up interfering too much which diminishes morale and then the employee and manager slip into a vicious cycle. [Of course I’m massively paraphrasing here.]

Perhaps there are great bosses out there… there are certainly great leaders. But, let’s be real about boss/employee relations. It’s a 2-way street. If things are as this article suggests with the employee to blame for THIS much trouble (the article cites lack of skills or ability, ethical issues, theft, absenteeism, addictions, failure to do quality work, failure to do the work on time as issues from where professional conflicts are rooted), then the employee probably deserves to be disciplined and/or fired.

There’s No Eliminating the Boss

2007-01-18T08:04:00.000-05:00

When I talk to people about what I do and how I decided to do it, I always mention the “I-didn’t-want-to-work-for-someone-else-anymore-so-I-quit-my-job” routine. This is a big reason why people go into business for themselves. It’s not the only one, but it’s up there on the list.

Lately though, it seems that there are those that would remind me (as if I could forget) that I may not go to work for another company and have someone torture the hell out of me, but I still have others to answer to. There are clients, vendors, banks, and the like. They are the ones to tell you where it’s at, not the other way around. Of course it’s important to remember this because it is technically true: I answer to these people. I traded one tyrant for a potential gaggle of them.

But it’s funny… I just don’t view it that way. Yes, the clients dictate the type of work, the volume and the frequency, but overall – it’s either going to be something I want to do or not. Plus it’s all negotiable. Granted, it’s only been less than a year for me, but I’ve worked with a variety of clients and vendors. If it “clicks” with a client, you get more work, if not… you move on. You learn what people want and you give it to them. You learn from mistakes. No one’s going to beat me up over my mistakes more than I am – or remind me of it everyday like some bosses might. This is one big learning process – and I’m in control of what I want to take on or learn.

I guess maybe it boils down to a control thing. Maybe discipline too. So, although these people may call some of the shots, at the end of the day I still consider myself The Boss and sleep very well at night knowing that.

Just How Involved Should a Manager Be?

2007-01-17T09:45:00.000-05:00

Let’s face it; some people are just not good with confrontation. However, if you’re going to promote someone into a managerial position (one that supervises their own staff), you’d better be damn sure that they know how to work with people. Just because someone’s good at their desk job does not mean they’ll be good at managing people. For some, it comes naturally. For others… well, let’s just hope that they someday get hope – or are removed from the fray.

Ultimately, managers that have no people skills have no business managing others.

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, I had difficulties with a coworker when accounts were changing hands. This individual gave me such a hard time that all my other work (the new accounts) were getting tied up since this person made me spend all my time walking them through the old stuff.

It got to the point where I was receiving extremely detailed emails/memos about what needed to get done (didn’t this person have ANYTHING else to do???). In these emails were elaborate embedded images of files, cut and pasted information, and bullet-pointed questions, problems, and instructions on how to split the atom. Since there was no talking to this person, I went to my manager to make him aware of the situation. After some back-and-forth, he agreed to hold a sit down meeting with myself and this other coworker to settle these affairs.

While I knew that my manager was behind me (and I really did have every reason to believe this based on the faces he made when speaking about my coworker [which indicates other issues of course], he certainly wasn’t on their side!), he gave me absolutely no help. The meeting was a forced face-to-face in which he said nothing. Yeah… Hi: YOU’RE THE BOSS AND THIS IS HOLDING UP WORK SO YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AND MAKE A DECISION. This is where your managerial skills come into play. Remember what those are? Oh no? Not acquainted with how to manage people? Then step aside and let someone who does get involved.

I mean, I get it: coworkers should be able to work through stuff on their own and the boss really should not have to deal with these types of conflicts. But I got news for you: when it starts to prevent work from getting done you need to step in! I recently heard a story from a friend who had a whopper of a dispute with another supervisor (not her supervisor). Her boss knew and did NOTHING. It was so bad, she up and quit her job.

My point is, if want to play at the managerial game, you need to learn some of the rules (I know, some are meant to be broken). But you must – MUST – know how to deal with people.

Working for Myself: How I Knew What I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

2007-01-12T17:18:00.000-05:00

When I tell people how I came into my new career, they shudder and tell me how brave I am. It’s funny, because when it comes to taking dramatic risks in my life I don’t think I’m that brave.

So many say, “I really admire you for doing this, after all – I could NEVER just quit my job and start my own business.”

Let me tell you: I never thought I would quit my job and strike out on my own either. I am someone who thrives on the secure… I work, I make money, I put it in the bank and put some towards retirement. Never did it enter my mind that I’d ditch that security for a completely insecure existence.

However, I gradually became that person. As I spent day after day (and subsequently night after night) stewing in excessive stomach acid and depression as a result of my growing distaste and sheer unhappiness with my former career, I woke up one day and knew I could just not do it anymore. Things went from bad to worse… I tried to work harder and harder to make things work out, and the worse off I was.

As I searched high and low for a new job and interviewed at various places, I was dismayed when I saw nothing coming to fruition. The more I thought about it, I knew deep down that I’d only be going from the frying pan into the fire. I decided my life was too short to try to make anyone other than myself happy. In my experience, people very rarely appreciated it. So why bother?

Once I made that decision I had to give serious thought to what I was going to do. I mean, it’s all fine and good to decide not to work “for the man” anymore, but I had to do something to support myself and have a solid future.

Then it came to me.

I was steeped in books and research trying to find ways to make it work with bosses; I learned new management techniques and styles and enrolled in communications workshops – all to make my (now former) career work. I did it so much that people came to me asking my opinions on issues. People wanted advice from me. Then I started getting asked to do workshops of my own. Then I started this blog and decided to write a book. That’s when I knew I saw the beginnings of a new career take shape. Just to be sure, I took personality tests to confirm my aptitude and interests (I took the MAPP test).

I got my financial ducks in a row and hired a business coach who walked me through all the steps I needed to take before “quitting the day job”. He helped me construct a business plan and an income plan. I put myself on a strict (ok, semi-strict) timeline as to when things would get done (one of the biggest lessons I learned: things take a lot longer than you originally plan).

As hard as the journey’s been, I have never regretted my decision. It wasn’t easy to make the leap, but let me tell you, it was harder for me to stay behind. The way I see it, I was more or less forced into action. Some people are naturally inclined to take risks, others are propelled by outside forces. I’m one of the outside forces people. And I think I’m better for it. At least now I can look at myself and feel good about what I do and look to the future with a newfound sense of hope.

Top 10 Downsides to Working for Myself

2007-01-11T12:08:00.000-05:00

1. If I fail, I can end up in the street.

2. Health insurance is damn expensive!

3. You don't always have feedback when you need it.

4. Having the discipline doesn't come easy; it's a learned talent.

5. Since there is no more "9 to 5", it's not as easy to put the pencil down and go home. I often work 7 days a week, including holidays.

6. That also means no sick days. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

7. Work doesn't always appear when I need or want it.

8. It's a LOT of work with no instant gratification or payment. There's a reason why I freelance in addition to running my business.

9. Just because I don't have a boss doesn't mean I don't hear the word "No" a lot.

10. There is no "job security".

Top 10 Reasons Why I Like Working for Myself

2007-01-10T09:57:00.000-05:00

1. My work speaks for itself. I was tired of my boss constantly looking over my shoulder and telling me I wasn't good enough. The feedback I get from my clients is truly attributable only to myself; no one can take that from me.

2. Office attire now consists of slippers, yoga pants and a hoodie. And yes, I start everyday with a shower.

3. No more “9 to 5”. If I want to work at 7am then take a yoga class at 11am, I can. Likewise if I choose to sleep in a little and work late. Plus, I love those afternoon siestas!

4. Plenty of opportunities to make WAY more money. I am no longer slave to the “you’re-not-worthy-of-your-full-bonus-even-though-there’s-no-reason-you-shouldn’t-have-it-other-than-I-don’t-like-you-and-I-want-a-new-in-ground-pool-installed.”

5. I create my own challenges and accept the projects I want – and at the rates I choose.

6. I am no longer “stuck” with a boss or colleagues; I get to choose who I want to work with.

7. More freedom to meet and network with people. If someone asks for a coffee meeting at 10:30 in the morning, I don’t have to tell the boss where I’m going or make excuses. I just go.

8. I get to spend more time with my cat.

9. Lunches don’t come in plastic containers; I make it all fresh.

10. No more office politics. I play by my own rules.

Wack-a-Boss

2007-01-09T22:10:00.000-05:00

Here's a little game to keep you occupied while dodging your boss:
Wack-a-Boss

When Bad Bosses Emulate Their Bad Boss Heroes and Mentors

2007-01-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, it is suggested that managers look to their past bosses in order to avoid making their mistakes. (The article is titled “Recall the Mistakes of Your Past Bosses So You Can Do Better” from 1/3/07).

That’s all fine and good, but what can employees do when their bat-$#@%-crazy managers actually choose to emulate their current and/or past supervisors? This article suggests that managers actually want to be “good” managers. Or perhaps they believe that sabotaging their team, setting employees up to fail, stealing – or hiding – the great ideas that employees come up with, is “good” managing.

Let’s look at this for a minute. So what does it mean when:

- Bosses hand off work that looked like a 5-year old did it? Are they trying to recapture the lost innocence of their youth along with their immaturity? I once had a superior hand off work like this for me to decipher. It was atrocious. The boss they’re emulating: Their 5-year old child.

- They pick up smoking to have “meetings” with their current manager? I get it; this is a ploy most people learn in school… high school. All those “cool” kids will one day have cancer. Bravo.

- The boss makes threats of physical violence if the work isn’t complete and on their desk in 3 seconds? Maybe their boss hero was Attila the Hun. I’m sure that one works really well… especially when the lawsuits hit.

- The boss incessantly corrects and rewrites every email you send out – even though you’ve been doing the job since the year of the flood? Then again, maybe this makes sense if they’re a former English-teacher-turned-corporate-tool.

- Antisocial behaviors emerge that make the boss try to blend in with the wall rather than say "hi" to anyone? Maybe their mentor was a hermit or a germaphobe.

Once again, these great ideas sound good in theory… but suppose these “bad” bosses are already taking notes from the ones that came before them or their old mentors? And maybe they’ve been doing it for so long they no longer have any clue which is “right”? I mean, that would have to be the case because who would possibly do these things and actually think that they were a “good” boss?

The Bossary

2007-01-07T22:39:00.000-05:00

In my unending quest for bad boss stories and other related workplace information, I came across this blog: savetheassistants.com. They posted their own "Bossary" which is a glossary of various bad bosses. I got a kick out of it.

See which one you work for.

Starbucks Loses the Trans Fat, but Corporate America Keeps the Losers

2007-01-05T13:22:00.000-05:00

If Starbucks is capable of making such a big change to remove what’s bad for us, how come business can’t do the same?

Yahoo! posted an article the other day that suggests 40% of bosses don’t keep their word. Somehow, this doesn’t surprise me. Now at least I know there are others out there that see what I’ve been talking about. Does that make me feel better? Hardly. Now that we have the statistics we should do something about it.

Here’s the chance to let HR groups everywhere redeem themselves by actively supporting programs that keep an eye on managers. HR needs to do more than cover the company’s hide. Those responsibilities should fall under the heading of, “How we can get away with s*** and not get sued”. Human Resources should be about Humans. Yeah, let’s try that.

So let’s get back to the employees who work under bad bosses. The article goes on to say that, “Employees stuck in an abusive relationship experienced more exhaustion, job tension, nervousness, depressed moods and mistrust, the researchers found. They found that a good working environment is often more important than pay, and that it's no coincidence that poor morale leads to lower production.” Oh, really? You don’t say.

The article also points out that employees don’t leave their job or company… they leave their boss.

Changes are needed. Perhaps 2007 will be the year these changes are heralded.

Cubicle Life - In Stealth Mode

2007-01-04T22:41:00.000-05:00

After all this time of tracking bat-$#@%-crazy managers and bringing to light the idiocy that corporate management inflicts on the lower ranks, I might have to pause and shift focus in a different direction for a little while.

Whenever I submit a blog article to Digg.com, or some other social book marking site, other “related” stories tend to crop up. One of them that came up this week was ”Cubicle Hacks”.

While I found the article written in a style similar to my own caustic, witty, and irreverent voice (which is probably why I liked it), something made me pause at the end of it. Then it came to me: it wasn’t the article that made me stop, it was the bevy of readers’ comments at the end of it.

Mr. Urban Monarch describes 5 things to ease life in cubicle hell. All of them save one (I have shared your pain over the miserable cup o’joe in the office… thus I started drinking tea) were about how to get away with not doing what they were there to do… the job! However, as I said, it wasn’t the article itself that bothered me – I laughed, I cried, it made me want to try some new tricks back in cube hell but… oh wait – it didn’t persuade me quite that much. It was funny and right up my alley – I had a good laugh.

Then I read the comments that followed. Here I go crusading against incompetent (ok, stupid) bosses, and I see something like this. I KNOW that everybody goes online at some point to handle personal business during work hours (it’s totally naïve to believe otherwise) – or to check the weather or read the latest headlines on CNN… whatever. But these comments suggested a complete slacker attitude – and it made me feel that they deserved whatever micromanagement they had coming to them.

Perhaps too it’s an age thing. “Highly seasoned veterans” don’t carry on like that… and if they do, well then maybe those are the managers I have talked about. It didn’t seem that way to me though. These comments sounded like they came from internet-savvy Gen Y cube dwellers that should get used to the close confinement their little space offers them… with those tactics they’ll have a hard time moving up.

A Book Review - Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way

2007-01-01T22:17:00.000-05:00

As reviewed by New York Times best-selling author Ellen Tanner Marsh:

"Anyone who thinks that more than enough books have been written about corporate America has another “think” coming...as well as a pleasant surprise. Gail Hamlin’s Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way: Tales of Survival from the Corporate Battlefield is an eye-opening, forthright, and often downright hilarious view into what makes—and breaks—workplace survival and success.

Hamlin clearly knows of what she writes. After years in corporate America—from serving as a television rep to slogging through the brutal world of advertising sales—she finally walked away...and lived to write about it. Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way is a compendium of more than a few jaw-dropping examples of employee abuse, coupled with the author’s wise guidance for those who wish either to prevent the abuse typically heaped on by the boss, or to nip it in the bud before it starts. Hamlin, who views her corporate time as a sentence served, is spot-on in her descriptions of the obstacles every employee faces at the mercy of the jealous, often unscrupulous employer.

Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way is a highly recommended book for everyone who works with others. (While her book is directed at employees, most employers could also benefit from its sage advice, especially those who have climbed the corporate ladder and may have forgotten what it felt like at the bottom.) Those readers with no sense of humor, or lacking the ability to see humor in distress, might want to steer clear, which would certainly be their loss. For everyone else, run, don’t walk, to get this book. As lighthearted as it appears, it offers solid solutions to very serious worksite problems."

Escape from the Cubicle Farm: Things to Keep in Mind Before Quitting Your Job

2006-12-31T21:03:00.000-05:00

As we say goodbye to 2006, I want to pass along some tips to keep in mind as you (attempt to) move forward in your careers. One of the reasons my blog attracts readers is (aside from keeping tabs on me) that people know and understand the stories I post. Everybody has bad days at the office. Some even have them running consecutively and can probably share some colorful tales. Many have done so here.

With a fresh start fast approaching, now is a great time to decide where you’re at. It’s also a good time to ask yourself some questions: Are you happy where you are? Do you have a gameplan as to what your next step would be if it’s a promotion or new job you’re angling for? Are you going to cut and run or patch things up? If you split, are you going into the same job elsewhere or starting over at square one?

#1: Are you going to stay the course or split? If there’s problems at your job relax: everyone has problems where they work. Of course, some are worse than others. Some can be fixed while others can’t. Take the time to evaluate where your workplace issues lay before making any rash decisions.

#2: If you’re gonna hit the road as soon as you can, remember to brush up on your networking skills. It’s always good to keep up on the contacts you have. Make some calls, send out some emails; be sure to remain on people’s radar. They can’t help you if they don’t know you’re there and need help.

#3: If you don’t want to go yet, do what you can to find out how to get your job – and career path – where you want it to be. Ask for feedback. Be honest about your achievements and ask your supervisor(s) to do the same. Throughout the year they should be providing you with the feedback necessary to keep you on track and moving forward. Discuss what’s going on and ask specifically what it is you need to do to get the recognition you deserve or the promotion you want.

#4: You’re desperate to go but you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up. Evaluate your skills. Write down the things you’re good at and enjoy doing. If that’s too much of a challenge, take a personality test. I happen to be a fan of the MAPP Test (Motivational Appraisal of Personal Potential). You’ll like it too, it’s very thorough and some of the results may surprise you. Along with the results, it will provide several career choices based on your answers. It’s really very cool.

#5: Tired of dealing with the rat race? Yeah, I was too. Figure out a plan and go to work for yourself. Get your financial ducks in a row and research the business you want to start. This one may take some time however. If you can, get whatever certifications and accreditations while you are still employed full time. When you’re working for yourself, you’ll want to give your business as much time and energy as you can spare.

So that’s what I got right now. The new year is an exciting time; for most of us, there’s nothing but time ahead. Now’s the time to get your game face on and play life like you mean it.

Happy New Year.

How to Blog about Work without Getting Caught

2006-12-27T17:18:00.000-05:00

I’ll be the first person in line to say how fun it is to blog. Of course I wouldn’t be the only one to say that; there are millions of blogs out there. You could search for days on any number of subjects. Me personally, I chose to blog about bad bosses. Who knew I’d have so much to go on? The stories keep coming in. As long as my readers keep emailing me or people continue to share their experiences, I’ll have something to write about.

Since I get into boss/workplace/career issues, I think it’s only appropriate that I bring up blogging and work. Blogging as I mentioned is a great thing, with many people doing it. However, it should also be said that blogging has its time and place.

Regardless of what you decide to blog about, unless you do it for a living you should not do it while at work. That’s rule #1: Never blog at work. Of all the blogging I’ve done, I’ve never done it while at the office. Especially if your company has strict rules about being on the Internet, you don’t want to get caught doing this. It can be grounds for immediate dismissal (or at least disciplinary action).

If you blog about work, that puts you in another category altogether. Corporate bloggers are actually paid by their company to post articles about their products and programs. This is done in an effort to raise public awareness about the company – it’s a great way to create buzz and drive sales. They are coached however, to steer clear of publishing proprietary information or anything that could be construed as counterproductive to the company cause. So you can’t get on your soap box and talk about management or coworkers. Of course there are plenty of individuals that do. My UK blogging buddy has a site dedicated to these types of blogs at Workblogging.com. It’s so inspiring.

If you want to get into blogging about management and coworkers, you need to do so smartly. Rule #2: Never name names. It may also be wise to leave out identifying information about your subject matter. This can serve as enormous protection against potential lawsuits.

Libel law consists of 4 necessary factors:
1. The libelous text needs to be published where others will see it.
2. It needs to identify who the individual is.
3. It has to cause damage to the other party’s reputation/result in job termination.
4. It can only be libelous if it is FALSE.

So, if you’re ever trapped in a libel suit, your best defense is the truth! And just so you know, the law leaves a great deal of wiggle room on the name calling bit. If you don’t want to identify your bat-$#%@-crazy manager, you can actually say bat-$#@%-crazy manager. Gotta love that rhetorical hyperbole. On a serious note, if you have any questions about this, you should consider finding a lawyer to ensure that you remain in the clear.

Rule# 3: Keep it to yourself! Just because people may find out about it anyway does not mean you should run out and tell everybody – particularly at work. It’s one thing to have a small handful of friends reading it, it’s quite another to tell your friends at work. That’s a surefire way to get the word out, which could get you fired, fast. If they find out after the fact at least they can't fire you.

And to all of you reading blogs at work: you should probably get back to your job! Good luck and happy blogging.

How Can YOU Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way?

2006-12-25T00:15:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of launching my new book Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way: Tales of Survival from the Corporate Battlefield, I wanted to take a moment to explain what this means. Overall, people have a clearly defined idea of what makes a good leader, but sometimes, even those with the best of intentions (or so they think) tend to stray from the mark.

The idea of "Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way" is what many people want to say to their bad bosses. In these situations, it's the bat-$#@%-crazy managers that create the problems. There's usually an array of issues, but it's problems in communication that ultimately lead to a slow-down in production. Managers should be the ones to facilitate communication, instill a sense of pride in others for the job and the company, and properly motivate their employees (not intimidate them).

I came across this leadership blog post that caught my eye. It has some fantastic ideas about leadership that is really quite accessible. Even a flea would understand the basic principles outlined here.

While this article gets into several traits of a successful leader, I'll take a look at 3 of them:

Failure can be a good thing. I've worked for managers in the past that had a real issue with this. Of course, there's failure and then there's failure. You may never know if a new idea is going to work until you go out on a limb and give it a whirl. Of course if you work for someone that has a limited capacity for risk-taking, this may be a difficult hurtle to leap. However, as a leader, it's crucial to put yourself out there and take calculated risks. Failure in these circumstances means you possess ingenuity and are able to step out of your comfort zone. These kinds of risks sometimes need to be taken in order to move forward. You also need to remember to foster this in your staff and not beat them up for it. Drop the ego at the door and focus on your job!

Be true to your beliefs. In a forbes.com article outlining the five marks of a great leader, Paul Johnson places moral courage at the top of his list. This can piggyback on the idea that it's not always best to run with the pack. It takes a strong person to do what they feel is best when others are saying something different. Be strong: don't give in to the whims of others when it will hurt your team! I've seen this happen too many times - managers will throw subordinates under the bus to make themselves either look better to their superiors or feel better about themselves. What a bad (and weak) way to go.

Believe. Learn from the mistakes and move forward. Don't dwell on them! Far too often managers will continue to point fingers about all the mistakes individuals on their team may have made (or the missing commas or bullet-points that should have been added to their emails...I mean, come ON). This does no one any good. Put your faith in your staff. I'll bet that they are smart and talented and have every intention of doing their best. If you make them believe it, they will fulfill your expectations. The same goes if you shred their confidence and make them feel like failures; they will falter. If you can set them up to fail (and believe me, I've seen you in action), you should be able to set them up to win - which in turn creates a victory for you.

Just something to chew over this Christmas Day. Happy Holidays to all.

Work and Weddings

2006-12-19T11:13:00.000-05:00

These are a few of my favorite things. If that’s not enough, just combine the two and double your pleasure. To top it all off, take those two and add recovery from a stomach virus. Now we’re talking. This was me this past weekend.

Someone I used to work with got married and so I joined my boyfriend (whom I had met incidentally while at my last job) and went. It was a beautiful ceremony; the bride was stunning, the groom ebullient; the food was truly delectable; the band versatile and a real crowd-pleaser. It sounds like a nice time out right?

It was, except that I had to face most of the folks I used to work with that I had no desire to see. These were all the people who sided with my former captors, I mean bosses. They mostly put on pleasant faces and faked it, as did I. I say mostly because not all of them came to say hello. If anything, they went out of their way to not say hello. Oh well, that certainly wasn’t my loss.

Again, to top it all off, I had these bozos to my back (because they were literally at the table behind me), I was recovering from a nasty stomach flu (at least I'd know which way to face if I felt the urge to purge), and then I had to sit face-to-face with a woman I fired a little over a year ago. Let me tell you, I disliked the people I used to work with so much that facing the person I fired was a welcome distraction. We even had some good conversation.

I know that inviting people from work to a wedding is a given for many people. It has *never* been for me, and now that I work alone I really don’t have to face this issue. Unless I’m friends with my boss or a co-worker or two, I really can’t imagine inviting people from the office. I mean, don’t we all have enough stress to deal with when it comes time for the company Christmas party? Why would anyone want to do this to themselves at any other time? Then again, if you have a large enough wedding, you can tuck them away in a corner and go your merry way; after all, if you’re the one getting married, you won’t be spending time with them, will you?

Mixing the office with my personal life in that way is not my idea of a party. I wouldn’t even tell them I was getting married. Let them guess – it’ll give them something to chew over at the water cooler.

Guilt by Association

2006-12-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it just doesn’t matter if you do everything right at your job or not.

Back in the days when I was still incarcerated in corporate America, most of the sales department had gone on a little field trip to the sunny beaches of Florida (gotta love those “working” vacations). With them went most of the management in my department. So it was just myself and another lowly manager left behind to keep the other peons company.

As this was at a time when I was already in the dog house (for reasons I never found out why), I kept my head down low and just tried to get everything done. Although I had the reprieve of my captors being away, I was still overloaded with a ridiculous amount of work that would have made any seasoned pro cry.

So, I went to work and did what I needed to do. Every once in a while I heard a ruckus out in the cubicle farm that made me emerge from my cell to investigate what was happening. It turned out someone found an Internet game about a yeti throwing a penguin or something like that.

It would have been OK if they were quiet about it. But, they let EVERYONE in on the game. Again, since the “grown-ups” were away, they were openly playing. There were contests going to see how far each contestant threw the penguins. To say it got out of hand is an understatement. Then the emails came boasting the high scores; more friendly competition. I read them and deleted them. First of all I was just too busy. Secondly, with the way things were going for me, the last thing I needed was someone catching me play an online game.

Well… turns out the other lowly manager who was left behind stepped forward and said something. The comment was something along the lines of “please remove me from your email distribution”. OK. Can’t fault them for that. But we knew there was some trouble afoot. It was further confirmed when everyone came back and this manager apparently volunteered the information that everyone was playing this game.

You see where this is going… I too got nailed for playing this game. I didn’t so much as go to the web site with the game, but I was deemed just as guilty as if I had. There was no getting myself out of it – I was guilty by association.

What should I have done? Maybe I could have also sent an email asking to be removed from the distribution, although I’m not sure that would have helped at all. I could have ratted everyone out, but I didn’t want to do that… even if it meant I would have been cleared, I can’t see how that would have benefited anybody. Even when I showed all the work I got done – which could never have been done if I stopped to play games – it still didn’t get me off the hook.

It just goes to show that once you’re in the dog house, there’s sometimes little you can do to dig yourself out.

Think Your Emails Are Secure? Think Again.

2006-12-04T11:36:00.000-05:00

An MSNBC article I just read confirms what I’ve suspected for a long time: your emails and IMs at work are most likely tracked and saved.

I know there are those of you who truly believe that personal use of company email is your right (after all, how are you supposed to get all of your personal business done otherwise?). Although it doesn’t sound like everyone’s transactions will be saved and/or monitored, it’s probably best to err on the side of caution. If you’re going to use company email for personal use, you really (really!) need to proceed with caution.

This is especially the case for those of you that use company email for social purposes – don’t do this! You may be completely justified in bashing your bat-$#@%-crazy manager, but if – heaven forbid – you got fired and contested it… yeah, they’d go through your emails and blow your case up. Not only that… you could get sued just on the basis that you’re sending such emails.

At the same time, you could be using emails for other personal reasons and get nailed for that. If the powers that be feel you’re using their email too much for your own purposes, it can be grounds on which they fire you. I know, I know, you do it during your lunch hour… but you know as well as I do that it sometimes extends beyond that. Not only that, but companies know it. All I’m saying is: Be Careful.

Aside from email, Big Boss is probably watching your use of the Internet as well. They can (and most likely do) track which web sites you visit. Even if you do this on your lunch hour, you’ll be watched. I’d be very careful about where you visit. I’m not one to talk on that matter, as I visited job sites frequently when I still worked for my former employer. I worked on the resume and sent emails only from my home computer, but I did go looking to see what listings were out there. It made me feel like I was doing something which helped me cope with the nonsense in front of me. But of course, if management confronted me with it and tried to fire me, they could have – with reason.

It’s great that we have all this technology readily available at our fingertips… good or bad, it is what it is. But you need to keep in mind that there’s a record of everything, and it could cost you your job if you’re not careful.

The Real Reason Why It Sucks at Work… your boss is playing games

2006-11-30T12:03:00.000-05:00

The people that care about negativity in the workplace try all sorts of tactics. Here’s a few I found that gave me a hearty laugh. I mean, when I experienced negativity in the office, it would have been easily rectified by taking my boss completely out of the equation. That would have made my life MUCH easier. Of course that didn’t happen and so I sit here working for myself… without all that negativity, thank you very much.

Then I came across these “strategies” that bosses can use when they want to diffuse and eliminate workplace negativity. I got a good idea: How about the boss starts acting like a human being and we go from there? But no, your boss may be following the following strategies to fix YOU instead. (By the way, these are taken from Managing Workplace Negativity by Gary Topchik… naturally I had my own 2 cents to add in).

1: Recognize the negativity trigger points.

Uh, hello? I don’t know about the rest of you, but the boss acting like a jackass is my trigger point. Let’s start there.

2: Take a timeout.

Yeah I think I remember this one… back in Kindergarten.

3: Provide an attitude check-up.

They’re going to tell you exactly how you *should* act.

4: Encourage laughter or joke logs.

Not at their expense, obviously.

5: Keep thoughts in the present.

I’m going to club you over the head like a baby seal and stuff you into trash bags… right now.

6: Set a time limit for negativity.

Huh? Ok, if the boss gets to act like a jerk for 8 hours a day, every day (and that’s on the conservative side, of course), then I should be allowed 10 minutes a day to vent about it and then act like there’s nothing wrong? Is that how that works?

7: Set ground rules.

Boss: I’m going to walk all over your pride and figuratively beat you to a pulp by making you run around finishing useless tasks just for my amusement. And you’re going to like it.

Employee: I’m not worthy, master.

8: Look at quality criticism as a plus.

Criticism in the workplace should always be quality. These people don’t know what that word means. To them, they tell you how terrible a job you did and intimidate you into working harder when working smarter is really needed… on their part.

9: Collect funny objects.

What’s that supposed to be for? Can I keep a guillotine at my desk then? I mean, it’s funny for me to envision daily executions.

10: Stop the thought!

Of course!!! Because it really IS that simple!

Folks, in order for workplace negativity to transform into a positive environment, a lot more is needed for the effort. There’s always going to be negative people out there, but really the ones to start with are the managers who tend to set the tone for the workplace.

Self-Helpless Turns 1!

2006-11-28T22:23:00.001-05:00

Well, I was really hoping that my book would be out by now in order to have a “proper” celebration, but that’s unfortunately not the case. As a matter of fact, I wanted to do something special to ring in the new year of blogging, but with my dueling deadlines, I more or less missed the boat on that one too.

So, what I would like to do is take a brief trip through the past 12 months to see exactly how far “Self-Helpless” has come, and where she’s likely to go. As my hardcore readers know, this past year has seen a great deal of changes. When I started on 11/28/05, I was bitter and angry. Most of the early posts reflect this. Stories like the following clearly detail the miserable situation I faced everyday at the office. : This is a No-Win Situation, I'm Not a Micromanager, and The Ultimate Insult Pt II, "Miss Manager" to name a few.

Then I attempted some "advice" articles about Workplace Bullying and Verbal Self Defense.

Then, while going through a root canal, my dentist covered for me and wrote a “doctor’s note” while I actually went on an interview. Then I had random (but not so unusual) issues arising with my boss while I had my root canal. Lucky me, I developed an infection, had the tooth pulled, and realized that going through all of that was more enjoyable than going to the office everyday. Yes folks, it really was that bad.

Then I started giving serious thought to my departure from corporate punishment in a series of “resignation” posts back in February. During that week, I fantasized about leaving my job, starting my new career, and had a good laugh over the many ways to “say goodbye” when leaving.

Around that time I also pondered life elsewhere and the importance of going to a 9-5 job everyday (aside from the regular paycheck benefit, of course). Is it necessary to be so unhappy?

Piggybacking on that, I tried to pin down the things that bosses and companies can do to make things right with their people. I shared my Exit Interview - I, II, III (yes, those are more or less mine in their entirety) and gave everyone some tips on how to take advantage of their sick days. Then I talked A LOT about bosses and what they do wrong (ok, again).

Of course there were commentaries on all the stupid things that people have to say about management although have never worked in truly horrid situations.

That brings us into the fall of 2006, where I talked a lot about things that employees can do to protect themselves from the idiocy of their managers, how to roll with some of the idiot punches, and some bigger issues that need some attention.

Now the current trend for Self-Helpless is to continue addressing the issues that plague the workplace and the ongoing stupidity of those that shape so many of the not-so-positive work environments. Self-Helpless loves stupidity. As long as there are stupid people in the workplace, I'll always have a lot to write about. Stay tuned, folks.

I Hate My Job, Now Pass the M&M’s

2006-11-27T12:06:00.000-05:00

Is Your Waistline an Indicator of Job Satisfaction? It could be. Studies show that increased stress levels can be linked to added weight, particularly around the midsection. So not only do you now hate your job, hate your boss, hate you irritating cubicle mate who loudly boasts of his weekend exploits, you now notice the scale moving steadily upwards. What the hell?!?!

I can back this theory up. Up until things went *really* bad at my last job about 3 years ago, stress and anxiety used to steal my appetite. Then all of a sudden, as if someone flipped a switch, the job went to crap and I gained weight. I’m STILL trying to lose those few extra pounds. But this whole idea of the job making me gain weight was like adding insult to injury.

So why does this happen? In an article on Sparkpeople.com, the findings suggest that people that work too much (more than the standard 40 hour work week) and consistently suffer from work fatigue are most likely to gain weight. You read that and think, “well gee, that narrows it down by about nothing.” Of course – more and more people work beyond the standard 40 hour work week. As a result of that, people are going to be tired. That’s just natural. The article suggests however, that when done consistently, the weight will go up.

What’s interesting is how this really affects those that are unhappy with their job. According to this article, the ones suffering from work fatigue agree with 3 or more of the following statements:

My work is definitely too stressful.

I feel like I'm totally exhausted.

I feel totally worn out after a day at work.

I feel tired in the morning when I have to get up and go to work.

I worry about my work even when I'm off duty.

I have to work too hard.

The suggestions given are good; however I’m not so sure how realistic it is to follow through enough on them to see positive results.

Their ideas include taking a break, simplifying the areas in your life that need it, evaluating your work schedule and tasks (good luck with that), and taking a good long look at your job. This last one makes the most sense. I mean, at some point, almost everybody’s job gets busy. You work on a big project or presentation, or whatever. But if you’re continually burning the midnight oil at the office, you need to rethink your strategy. Is it really worth it to stick it out? Chances are, all signs will point to refreshing your resume and reconnecting with your network to see what else is out there.

Otherwise, you need to be warned about the added weight – it’s not going to go away if the contributing factors do not change. Ultimately, the weight gain will lead to bigger medical issues like heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes, to name a few.

Examine your situation and decide what’s important. But always remember that jobs come and go – your health is another matter altogether.

Why Does the Boss Hate You? Here's 10 Reasons

2006-11-24T11:11:00.000-05:00

The Bad:

You made a terrible mistake and are still in the dog house. People tend to do stupid things with their company email... is this you? In The Obvious Faux Pas, I made my opinion pretty clear on the personal use of company email: it just shouldn't be done. Or perhaps you went in to your boss promising that your quarterly forecast was absolute and then turned out to be grossly wrong.

You threw up at a client meeting (in the client’s office). Don’t laugh; I’ve actually read about something very similar happening to someone. If you don’t feel well, go home! No one wants your germs. Don’t be a martyr – sick days are there for a reason. If you really are that sick, you can reschedule the appointment. Frankly, if you feel that bad, do you *really* want to go to work anyway?

You put your foot in it. You need to be really careful what you say, especially around the office. Watercooler conversation is perfectly acceptable as long as it's the innocuous kind like, "hey did you see what happened on 'The Office' last night?" However, you should be careful if you start making comparisons between the imbecile boss Michael on the show and your own real life boss. You never know who will hear you. Usually it's the wrong person overhearing the wrong thing at the right time. Don't let this happen to you.

You’re just plain obnoxious. Every office has at least one jerk who yaps away loudly on their cell phone while their cubicle neighbors suffer through whatever personal conversation they're having. I mean really, go outside during your lunch hour or something to do that. Especially if you're loud, you're disrupting others while they're actually trying to do their jobs.

You don’t pay attention or do your job. We all know when we're working hard and when we're hardly working. Don't let others pick up your slack. Do what you're hired to do. It's really simple.

The Good:

You outperform your boss. This is great for you, but spells trouble for your boss and makes them feel threatened. This is especially the case when others (higher up the chain) take notice of your stellar performance.

Your boss is insecure and is afraid that you will overthrow them. This more or less piggybacks off the previous point. However, you can be outperforming them or just minding your own business and doing your job. If your boss is an insecure jerk, they'll think you're out for their job no matter what you do. It sucks, but it's reality for a lot of people.

You’re popular. Many bosses believe in following the "chain of command". If you're well liked, people will go to you when they need something or if they have a problem that you can help them solve. When the boss catches wind of this they usually get all up-in-arms about being in the loop on all conversations and emails you're having. I should know, this happened to me. So stupid.

They’re just jealous. This one piggybacks on the popularity "problem". Bosses, insecure ones in particular, don't really want their subordinates to be more popular than they are. They feel that since they're in the position of higher power, they should get the spotlight. Or maybe there's something that you do better than they do. It's a simple fact that everyone has different talents. Some people are better than others at things. These bosses just can't get past this.

You’re younger than they are. Your life is ahead of you, theirs is behind them. It's all so silly, but when you're in a situation where they're jealous of your age, it can be ugly. I know some people that are affected by this kind of sentiment by their boss. They're great workers and their boss hates them simply because they're young, cute, and do a wonderful job.

These are just a few of the reasons why your boss hates you. I'm sure there's more. But you can start with these and then decide what you can live with and what you can't. If you can't, you need to consider moving on. Of course if you do that, you run the risk of moving into the same predicament. Just something to think about.

Do You Empower Your Employees?

2006-11-16T12:34:00.000-05:00

Empowering employees means a certain amount of letting go is necessary on your part as a manager. Nowadays it seems as though more and more people talk about empowering others to move forward in their career, which in turn, helps you in yours.

Why is it important? The short answer: because you want to keep the talented staff you hired. A big reason people leave their jobs in search of something newer and better is because they don’t feel like they’re a part of the loop, challenged enough, or respected.

Why should you bother? Well, aside from the reason I just mentioned about retaining talented staff, it offer some benefits to you:

- Delegating assignments to your staff gets you away from some of the grunt work.
- Since your subordinates are making the decisions, there will be fewer interruptions with issues of lesser importance.
- When employees feel empowered, they are more motivated to find solutions to problems rather than come to you with all the problems.

The key thing to remember is to establish guidelines for accountability, responsibility, and authority, and let employees get on with what they were hired to do.

So how come there are still so many managers that don’t do this?

- Fear/Ego
- Lack of trust in the relationship
- They’re just bat-$#@%-crazy and don’t care

Managers (both good and bad) need to realized the potential benefits to the company: there is a quicker turnaround time in the decision making process when employees have the authorization to take action. When empowered, they have the confidence to speak up and take action. Empowered employees are motivated to do more!

If you’re already doing this with your people, fantastic. But, if you’re reluctant, you need to give your people the benefit of the doubt (provided that they are relatively good workers) and give them the freedom to do their jobs. People can only go above and beyond when they have the authority to do so. This will boost their confidence as well as bolster trust and respect in the work relationship. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at what they can accomplish.

Serenity Now! Can This Thwart Workplace Negativity?

2006-11-15T12:03:00.000-05:00

It has been suggested that merely reciting - and repeating - a favorite phrase, can help diminish workplace negativity. This is what Gary Topchik suggests in his book Managing Workplace Negativity. While I think that there are some interesting suggestions here, I had to point out this “have a favorite saying” idea.

Of course, the first thing that came to mind was Frank Costanza on Seinfeld and his whole “Serenity now” routine. It didn’t appear to really work for him, did it? It’s one thing to have a bad day or an occasional tiff with a boss or coworker, but it’s quite another if you’re stuck in a dismal situation. No amount of mantras, yoga, or meditation will get you out of that funk (believe me, I know).

Let’s see what some of the suggested sayings are. Naturally, if you have a saying of your own that brings a smile to your face, then by all means, use it. This is what I came across:

“I’m in control here.”
“I’ve got another 24 hours to do as much as I can.”
“Wow! I’m alive, and I’m breathing.”

Again, for those lucky individuals that only have the occasional altercation, this could probably work. And it makes sense, really. If you’re worked up, the best thing to do is take a step back, breathe, and count to 10. It really does work.

Now, let’s look at some reasons why people would be negative at work. Negative people are:

Overworked, underappreciated, and unrecognized
Doubtful about the company’s future
Not challenged enough
Not included in departmental or company changes and restructuring
Rendered powerless by their boss (or beaten down by them on a daily basis)

I certainly considered myself to be negative at my last job. It didn’t start out that way, mind you, but that’s how it ended up. Almost instantly, my job went from stellar to stagnant. So, when I read those “favorite phrases” above, here’s what I thought:

“I’m in control here.”

I’m not even a little bit in control here. I am micromanaged down to where I’m allowed to place the commas in my email memos. I have no say and I’m watched when I leave my desk even to go to the restroom.

“I’ve got another 24 hours to do as much as I can.”

Fantastic. Another 24 hours to continue taking my antidepressants that enable me to endure yet another day of torture in the 7th Circle of Hell, I mean, office.

“Wow! I’m alive, and I’m breathing.”

That means I’m around yet again for my boss to continue beating my brain to a proverbial pulp. Yay – sign me up for more of that!

So what can be done about workplace negativity?

Management (or anyone in a position to effect change) should:

-Allow employees to be heard – if they know that you’ll listen to them, it will make them feel better. Most times, people just want to know that you’re paying attention to them.

-Treat people honestly and fairly. I know that this is a stretch for some… but this is what people want.

-Offer people growth opportunities and promotions. By “growth opportunity” I don’t mean push off the grunt work and then say how it’s good for them. Honest-to-goodness challenging work. People will be motivated and inspired when they know they're working toward a goal.

-Give constructive feedback. Don’t wait until review time to do this either. Sit down periodically with your staff and let them know how they’re doing. If they’ve done well, give positive reinforcement. If they’re lagging in some areas, let them know it – but do it in a manner that will encourage them to change, not make them feel like losers.

-Bring people into the loop. One of the things that always gets people talking and raising suspicions is when there are a lot of closed-door meetings. When there are changes going on, keep the information flowing as much as possible. People want to feel included; this is a good way to do that.

Workplace negativity is unfortunately a symptom of many different events and actions. Pay attention to what they are so you can prevent it from plaguing your office. Once it sets in, it’s hard to diffuse. So, depending on your situation, perhaps the sayings will make a difference… I don’t know. If your outlook is like mine was, then you need to get the hell outta Dodge baby!

Are Your Employees Happy?

2006-11-13T07:20:00.000-05:00

I happened to read this re-posted article from The Chief Happiness Officer called A Challenge to All Managers. It’s a call to all managers out there to gauge what their subordinates really think. Are they really happy? If you had to guess, would you say that they are or not?

One comment stated that, as their manager, you’d know what they were thinking. Of course, that’s if you’re any bit involved with them, then sure.

As a matter of fact, I’d find it hard to be a manager and NOT know what was really going on with my employees. I worked in corporate hell for 12 years… and I managed people probably for about 8 of them. Perhaps it was the nature of my job, perhaps it was just my nature… but I was as involved with the people on my team as I could be. I mean, if they were working on projects that I had to ultimately answer for, you can be damn sure I was involved with my people.

Don’t, however, get that confused with micro-management. You don’t have to be all up in your people’s faces about work to be involved with them and know what’s going on in their worlds - gauge the barometer readings, so to speak. I think I can honestly say that I’ve known when people were happy, and when they were unhappy.

So let’s take a look at the unhappy crew. What happened there? Was it my fault or someone else’s?

Well, it was both actually.

I’m cutting a lot out of this story, but let’s just say that I was “restructured” against my wishes into an undesirable department with a staff that hated their jobs. Off to a great start, huh?

So for starters I was dealing with my own humiliation (again, LONG story) and resistance to this terrible turn in my career. I was well acquainted with my new staff and them with me. What kinds of odds did we have, anyway?

My management was doing everything in their power to push me out… then I get to take the reigns for a group of individuals that had already been beat down with the same awful management. From the beginning, I knew my people hated everything about where they were and were doing everything possible to get out – which I not only knew about, but did everything I could to coach them on their resumes and interviews to help usher them out.

It’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t have a great ending. It was down to two subordinates and both were seen as underperforming. At this stage of the game, nothing would have motivated them to do more than they were. Let me tell you – they didn’t WANT to be doing a bad job, but because their spirits were already broken, there wasn’t much I could do to coach them (and going to bat for them was difficult at best and then it was just painful as I'd get beaten)… and I was a lousy coach because I didn’t want to be there any more than they did.

Ultimately, I had to fire one of them and the other found a job elsewhere. What an experience.

I left a few short months after that point and here I am. I have my own company and my first book coming out which talks all about those "fun" times in corporate hell. But to get back to the management challenge to gauge where your employees are… yeah, I think it’s pretty easy to tell. If you’re even a half-way decent manager, you’ll know EXACTLY how they’re doing and what they think of you.

How It Used to Be

2006-11-12T22:58:00.001-05:00

Many of you already know how bad my last job was. So... was it ever good?

The answer is Yes. For a long time I enjoyed my job. It was sometimes very busy in the beginning, but I put the time in and sometimes brought work home. It was all good because I got the job done and my managers liked the work.

I had it so good that I was able to stretch the rules a little bit.

I was a big Moby fan. BIG. Well, one summer he was on tour and playing spots around town, one of them was a free concert at Pier 59 (or one of those piers on the west side of Manhattan). Anyhow, the only way to get tickets was to go pick them up at the Virgin Megastore. As it turned out, they were only available from 3-4p one afternoon a few days before the show.

I had it so good that I asked my boss on that day if I could leave, go down to 14th Street, and get a pair of these tickets and then come back. Mind you, I had already taken my lunch hour for the day. But the answer I got was: Yes. How crazy is that? So there I went, to go get tickets for a Moby concert in the middle of the day.

Don’t get me wrong: I used to get in early and I certainly put in A LOT of overtime. But still, it’s kinda crazy, right? Especially when you consider how bad it had been for me the last couple of years that I was there.

Strange.

Can the Boss Kill Your Career?

2006-11-11T13:58:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, YES.

I had dinner last night with a friend and former colleague of mine. She was telling me a story of this new boss she has. After a successful tenure with her current company, her job security is being threatened. I explained that it’s possible that the boss is just pushing her to do more, get more done… which she is doing. So, perhaps she’s doing exactly what he’s plotting. However, he has come in and eliminated others. My friend has an otherwise good reputation – and people know it.

The bottom line is: you can be great at what you do and still be 100% fired. It almost doesn’t matter what high regard others hold you in – if your immediate boss doesn’t like you, you’re going down. All it takes is one person to ruin your reputation and if left uncontested, your career.

The shame of it is that it boils down to personalities. If your boss doesn’t like you, well… it can be bad. Granted, this isn’t always the case… but it can, and does, happen.

Of course the boss is perfectly allowed to hate you for valid reasons:

You…
-Come in late
-Abuse sick days
-Make the same stupid mistakes time and again
-Take extended smoke breaks
-Talk obnoxiously loud on your cell phone in the cubicle
-Have terrible manners
-Excessively abuse the Internet for your personal use

Whatever… I’m sure that list can go on.

So what do you do if you have a great track record and the boss still has it in for you? This happened to me… and it was just bad. In the case of my friend, she’s still in the early stages of developing a relationship with her boss. It’s important to learn what you can about them:

- What makes them tick?
- What are their goals?
- What are they looking for from you?
- How do they prefer to have the work done?
- Do they want to be in the loop or not?

However, if this is not the case and things take a sudden turn for the worse (as had happened to me), I’m afraid there may not be all that much that you can do. You can do everything right and still not be able to make it up in your boss’ mind. However, you can see about an internal transfer or look for another job elsewhere. Perhaps you can get HR involved but I’ve personally never had much luck with them. They’re interested in saving the company’s hide, not yours. Still, it would always be advisable to document everything you can in terms of meetings, conversations, project requests… anything that can come back to haunt you. At the end of the day though, your boss just might be a bat-$#@%-crazy P.O.S. that’s just itching to see you go. No amount of advice or doing a great job is going to matter. Although, you may be very happy when you do go and find something better anyway.

It’s just sad and unfair how much power your boss has over your career. Sigh.

Benefits for Companies Fostering Friendly Environments?

2006-11-09T07:15:00.000-05:00

You bet! You’re probably thinking that this is a no-brainer, but let me tell you that there are companies out there that specifically go out of their way to destroy the alliances that employees forge amongst themselves.

I once worked at a company that was so against people helping others that when some were overloaded with work, others had to “sneak” around in order to lend a hand. The work load was completely imbalanced, and management knew it. But if it wasn’t “your responsibility”, you weren’t permitted to so much as provide filing help to your colleagues if they were desperate for it.

Someone told me recently that they were called into the “big boss’” office and interrogated. The boss wanted to know who they were friends with and what the relationship was. As I listened to this the hairs on the back of my neck stood up… it was creepy.

"So what is the relationship between you and So-and-So?" the boss asked (and we’re talking specifically about women, no romantic involvements). Hey: how's about they sit next to each other and exchange pleasantries on a daily basis? Apparently that's too much of a "relationship" for the boss to handle.

While I know there are companies that promote friendly environments, I do know that companies such as the one I’m telling you about here are not that unusual.

Do you know why people leave their jobs? One of the biggest reasons that people quit and move on is because they don’t feel like there’s a sense of belonging; they don’t feel like there’s any “team” spirit. Why can’t you help the co-worker next to you with simple data entry if that’s what they need? This isn’t like taking over their responsibilities, but helping them manage theirs. Even if this nonsense isn’t happening to you, seeing evidence of it can be a big turn off.

Why would you want bright and talented employees to find jobs elsewhere when this can be so easily remedied? Besides, it’s a simple (and inexpensive) thing that can make your people happy.

Go on, give it a shot.

Prison Break: How I Fled Corporate America

2006-11-08T15:39:00.000-05:00

I've told many horror stories about my "time served" in corporate America. When I started this blog a year ago I was still incarcerated. I would tell people the insane stories about my job and the general environment I was in and the response was always the same: QUIT.

Now I'm hearing it again in regards to others' stories that I post here. Of course, quitting is much easier said than done.

For me, the moment that things got really bad at work I dedicated my LIFE to saving my sanity and getting out of that hell-hole of a job. Granted, I probably should have started seeing the writing on the wall before the s*** really hit the fan, but I was in denial... as many people are (and quite frankly I had great benefits: 4 weeks vacation, fully vested in 401k, and I had a great reputation with everyone outside of my immediate boss). Things were not yet at the point where people would tell me I should quit. Things were just... getting uncomfortable.

From the time things went from bad to worse until the day I fled, 18 months had elapsed. During that time I sent out 200 "cold" resumes (from which I had ONE decent lead... plus many other offers to sell various insurance policies and products door-to-door), followed about two dozen "warm" leads (interviews from recommended sources – my friends in the business), networked my tail off and filled up my business card folio with 96 cards. Although I had some great responses, some extremely close calls (I could have had a hot job at Viacom if they didn't completely change management), and even an offer (with longer hours and a pay cut that would have forced me to take a part-time job), I was unable to make my way out.

I spent everyday in tears. There wasn't anything anybody could tell me that would make it better. I cried when I woke up, I cried when I went to lunch, I cried when I went home, and I cried when people told me it was time to find another job (as if I didn't know and wasn't already actively pursuing that goal for 18 months!). I also cried out of frustration.

I knew I needed to leave and began to devise ways where I could just quit. Time and again I'd heard stories of people quitting their jobs with nothing to go to, but I was too terrified to do that and had too much at stake (bills, mortgage, etc). You really can't just quit a job without some kind of strategy.

So I developed a strategy.

To every person out there in a hazardous work situation (hazardous to your physical, mental, and emotional health): You CAN quit your job!!! It takes planning and effort, but it can be done.

Here's what you do:

- Investigate your financial status. Develop an additional savings plan that will enable you to quit your job. Cut everything out that is not absolutely necessary. Use your 401k only when (and if) your savings runs dry.

- Once you determine your financial situation, plan a "drop dead" date. How long will you need to do what you need to do to get everything in order before you quit? 3 months? 6 months? A year? (It took me a year when I finally made the choice).

- Find something to do. You quit your job… now what? You’re either going to look for something else in your field or try something completely different. I did the latter: I formed Pied Piper Consulting, wrote a book about my corporate hell experiences (Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way… to come out around Thanksgiving… stay tuned for details), and picked up work as a freelance writer to help with the bills in the meantime. Something I recommend to people in this situation that don’t know what they want to be when they grow up, is to take a personality test. It’s a fantastic guide – I did it and it revealed some very real career possibilities… as a matter of fact, I’m living one of them!

The journey was a tough one. Frankly, I’m struggling even now but: I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my career. Things are moving slowly, but they are moving – and in the right direction. That’s good enough for me. Every day I wake up thankful for the decision I made.

People, you need to remember: this life is not a dress rehearsal. Both of my parents had strokes at young ages. My father’s parents also suffered strokes. My older brother (who's still young) has been known to have high blood pressure. You see where this is going? Right – life’s too short to work so hard and be taken advantage of. I know how good I am and I know what I can contribute to a company and to society. I’m doing it now on my own terms. You can too.

How Do You Spend Your Lunch Hour?

2006-11-07T12:12:00.000-05:00

Most people that work in the corporate world get an hour for lunch. Of course, some get less, but the amount of time itself is not what I’m getting at today. Lunch hour is the time to step away from the mayhem (or boredom) of your morning and take some time for yourself to grab a bite, run errands, or just take a walk.

Of course, many take the opportunity to eat lunch at their desks and read, pay bills, make phone calls, or check personal email. Here lies the issue. My friend, Ms.Worksforwhat, (whom you may have read about in Thursday’s post Work_Life_Balance ) once got a lashing for her use of the internet during her lunch hour. It goes without saying that there’s some sites that just should not be accessed at the office (hmmmm, like porn or any site with loud, obnoxious sound effects – that should be turned off anyway at work). Whatever.

So Ms. Worksforwhat is chowing down on her tuna on rye as she watches a news clip online. Incidentally, it’s a news clip made available on the company’s own intranet. A manager happens to pass by (not her immediate manager) and see this and later rats on her with her manager. So, she gets in trouble for watching what the company puts on their own web site during her lunch hour. I ask: WHY?

Not only that, it’s something that comes up at review time as well. I know from personal experience that once something is put on your record like that, it stays there. I think that if management is going to have a problem with internet use, they should not go out saying that it’s okay to use the internet for personal use during lunch hour and completely eliminate all use of it. And then they should chain the workers to their desks, and demand a blood sacrifice.

So my question for the masses is this: Why should it really matter to your company what you do on your lunch hour (provided you’re not snorting blow in the restroom… then you’d have bigger problems)? What should Ms. Worksforwhat have done in her situation?

20 Questions for Your Boss

2006-11-06T07:54:00.000-05:00

I got a big kick out of this article from Poynteronline.com about how to get along better with your boss.

Following normal logic, I’d have to agree wholeheartedly with each point the writer makes. People don’t usually think about “managing up” when it comes to their day-to-day responsibilities. If you have a good job with reasonable upper management, then by all means, this would be the way to proceed.

The reason I think this is a hoot is because I couldn’t begin to imagine having tried these tactics on bosses I’ve known.

These are the questions raised by the writer to be answered by the employee over time:

Twenty Questions about Your Boss:

1. Preferred method of giving info to me:
Numerous emails, phone calls, hourly meetings, passing notes under the stall in the ladies’ room.

2. Preferred method of getting info from me:
Water torture, the rack

3. Biggest current pressure:
The inability to manage (anything)

4. Stands for these values, first and foremost:
Backstabbing and dishonesty; dirty politics

5. Biggest "hot button":
When the subordinates stand up for themselves

6. Passion outside of work:
You mean there’s life outside the office?

7. Has expertise in:
Making others miserable

8. Lacks expertise in:
People and communication skills

9. Vision for our organization:
Removing me from it

10. Would be really hurt if someone:
Slammed an ice pick through their eye

11. Best boss my boss ever worked for:
All of them that told her what to do

12. Expects this from me when there's a small problem:
To be present so she can rant and disparage me whether the problem has anything to do with me or not

13. Expects this from me then there's a big problem:
To commit hari kari

14. Will not compromise when it comes to:
Being proven wrong

15. Considers a great day at work to be:
Making others cry

16. Handles pressure by:
(see #15)

17. Is respected by her/his bosses for:
Fulfilling their dirty deeds

18. Respects others for:
The same

19. Has a blind spot about:
Being right about anything

20. Thinks I'm great at:
Being wrong

Friend or Foe?

2006-11-05T09:26:00.000-05:00

Using the Internet to find a job can be an enormous help. However, it can also be the thing that keeps you from success. In this Consumeraffairs.com article, the writer suggests that too much of our personal lives are easy to access for a prospective employer.

You need to take careful inventory of available information about yourself online. While it’s helpful to have a web site with a portfolio (as I’ve learned the importance of being a freelance writer), it can be damaging as well.

So, as you’re on the job hunt, Google yourself to see what comes up. Even if someone else published photos of you online, it could be incriminating enough to turn an employer off. Apparently many of them are doing this nowadays so you need to pay attention.

Google your name to see what comes up. If possible, try to “clean up” those elements that might make you look bad.
Be careful with what you make available online (like in your Myspace.com account. I mean, some of the things I’ve seen people put up on there is outrageous!). This also goes for postings you may have put on other people’s web sites and blogs. Anything that might be referenced back to you could be found by a prospective employer.
If you provide an email address on your resume (which is pretty standard these days), be sure to use a name or a simple (read: professional) variation of it. I’ve seen resumes with the nuttiest names attached to them (meloveUlongtime@email.com). Let me tell you, I didn’t call them back. When appropriate, especially if your work calls for it, keep a professional-looking web page online as a resume/portfolio. I’ve learned this works especially well for writers and artists.

This is just another issue where using your brain comes into play. I know this is a challenge for some of us, but this is why I’m pointing it out. I want to see good things happen for you.

Good luck and happy job hunting!

Are You a New Manager or Just Stupid?

2006-11-04T09:15:00.000-05:00

It’s important to realize that when you’re newly promoted into a management position, you’re not going to “get it” all at once. It will take some time and probably learning some tough lessons in order to become truly effective as a leader. Incidentally, there are individuals who have been in management roles that still don’t get it right – and have no business being in leadership roles.

Just because you’re somebody’s boss does not make you a leader. As a new manager, there’s lots to know and learn. Take a peek at the following 5 points as a brief guide (Trust me, I’ve been there before!):

Allow your staff the freedom to do their job. This encourages creativity which offers new solutions to problems and more efficient ways of doing old tasks. New managers don’t always get this right the first time around. Just because something’s always been done a certain way does not make it right.

Don’t fall into the trap of micromanagement! It’s important as a manager to learn how to delegate responsibility properly. Let others have a shot at doing their jobs and learning new things. Besides, micromanagers look like helpless weasels with OCD. Help grow another’s self-esteem; get out of the way and let them do their job.

Don’t just tell others what to do! Stop for a minute before you speak and just listen to what your staff is saying. Good communication is the key to any successful relationship. If you think management is just bossing someone around, smack yourself. Get this thought through your head: It’s not about you.

Find a mentor. This is crucial if you expect growth in your career. Following the advice of someone who’s “been there” before can save you from yourself. It helps to know which pitfalls to avoid and which opportunities you should take advantage of for further growth opportunities and learning.

Expect mistakes. They’re going to happen anyway – just realize that it’s not the end of the world. Pick up the pieces, dust yourself off and move on. Mistakes are lessons learned – don’t forget them! This also goes for your staff – don’t hang them out to dry if they screw up… remember, we’re all human. Don’t lose touch with that.

A Little Late to the Bully Club

2006-11-03T07:26:00.000-05:00

There were a couple of people that brought this Yahoo! article about workplace bullying to my attention. So I figured I now had to make some kind of mention of it. Frankly, this writer is a little late to the game. However, what I want to mention is the common mistake that these writers make, this woman included. They think that the problem continues because:

“Most bully victims keep their mouths shut, whispering their horrid experiences to close friends rather than higher-ups.”

While this may be true in some cases, let’s look at some other things that might be going on here.

How likely is that the bully in question is completely undiscovered? Not bloody likely. The only case I think that a bully might be getting away scott-free is if they’re new to the team and there isn’t anyone that knows what this person is truly capable of. For the most part, there’s always someone that knows what’s really going on. In my case, not only did other employees know about my boss (from firsthand experience), but my boss’ boss knew - and let it continue. I mean, let's face it; if a supervisor delivers results, their bosses may not care or question how they go about doing their job - as long as they do it.

For me, it took a little while but I eventually did go to the “higher-ups”. When I did, they did nothing. So not only was I wrongfully accused of being a bad employee, when I took my documentation to the higher-ups to clear my name, I was then viewed as a troublemaker. I know I’m not alone in this: there are employees everywhere that try to do something about their situation and are shut out by those that can help them. Instead of helping, it makes their situation even worse – if you can possibly imagine that.

So, those that don’t speak up may not be wrong by keeping silent. You may ask, “Well how much worse could it actually make their situation?” The answer is: MUCH WORSE.

Let’s be clear on this point: The reason bullying continues is largely because the bullying behavior is backed by others – not because the subordinates (or other coworkers) are keeping their mouths shut.

Work-Life Balance?

2006-11-02T08:16:00.000-05:00

My friend told me an atrocious story. Actually, she told me a few of them, but I’m only going to share one of them with you right now.

My friend, we’ll call her Ms. Worksforwhat, is lucky enough to work for a company listed in Working Mother magazine as one of the Top 100 companies for working mothers. This company made this list because of all the benefits offered to working moms (duh). So, in a company where half of all employees flex their hours, 10% work from home, and many more take advantage of laptop computers, cell phones and BlackBerry wireless email devices – all provided by the company, I have to wonder why my friend has been left out in the cold.

Ms. Worksforwhat just returned to work from her maternity leave. Prior to her leave, she discussed the possibility of changing her hours a couple of times a week (“flexing” her hours) in order to pick her child up from day care. Her manager said, “Sure - we’ll work something out”.

HOWEVER, when she came back and asked about her flex hours, her manager dodged the issue and refused to give a direct answer. He told her something to the effect of, “I don’t remember this conversation… we’ll have to see”. And of course, she hadn’t sent an email to follow up when they had the original conversation.

As it turned out, Ms. Worksforwhat discovered that her manager was coming in early and leaving early. Hmmm, that’s odd (she thought). After a few days back at work, he finally told her that she was not allowed to alter her hours the few times a week she needed to (of course she’d still be adhering to a 40-hour work week). However, he was now going to be working the exact hours that she requested – 5 days a week. So, the excuse she got was, “due to departmental needs” she needed to be at the office. So much for accommodating the working moms. This manager by the way, has no other responsibilities awaiting him at home like a wife, kids, or pet (or anything else we’re aware of at the time of this posting). Is it really so necessary to keep her an extra half-hour 3 days a week instead letting her pick her baby up at day care? She now has to perform gymnastics in order to make sure her baby has coverage – all the while hearing how “understanding” and “flexible” her company is.

Come ON. If you’re going to have this kind of policy in place, it needs to be fair for all employees – not just some – or in this case, for someone who doesn’t truly need the flex time – someone who’s not a working parent.

To email or not to email?

2006-10-31T08:03:00.000-05:00

Apparently, that is the question. After viewing an article I saw on MSN Today, I followed a link to a message board where people were waxing pathetic about company email: is it ok or not ok to use company email for personal use?

What I want to know is: Why is this even a debate???

Since when is it ok to conduct personal business at the office? I mean sure, you have a lunch hour which allows the opportunity to get personal things done, but I don’t think that gives you license to use company property for something that it was not intended for. And people scratch their heads when they hear of someone getting fired for it. This should be a no-brainer folks.

THIS IS WHY THERE’S HOTMAIL, GMAIL, AND YAHOO! EMAIL ACCOUNTS! They’re free and you can access them during your lunch hour to check your personal email.

I’ll freely admit I had used company email accounts for personal use… but then I stopped doing that - years ago - when I realized (finally) that the company could totally access my account if they so desired. As it was, they could probably have made their way into my personal accounts, though I doubt they did. I became very careful about email for personal use when I saw how dangerous it could be.

Email can be tricky… however, a company email account should be used ONLY for company use. I mean, really.

The Obvious Faux Pas

2006-10-30T07:21:00.000-05:00

While it may be no mystery that some of us hate our jobs (or just our bat-$#@%-crazy managers), it may not be so unclear as to why they hate US. Or maybe it is.

I was reminded of an incident that occurred some time back where an employee dug her own grave. While the feelings were completely understandable, her actions weren’t.

We all know how tricky email can be. Sometimes however, people let their emotions get ahead of them before they hit that send button. ALWAYS TAKE A MOMENT TO REVIEW YOUR MESSAGE AND KNOW WHO YOU’RE SENDING IT TO. I’ll bet it’s happened to every one of us that we’ve sent out an email or two to the wrong party.

Well, this one incident I’m referring to, precisely that happened. One bat-$#@%-crazy manager (and really, that’s putting it mildly), sent an email to their subordinates. One of them, I’ll call her Miss Treated, wrote a nasty reply and sent it to whom she thought were just the others in her group. What she failed to realize – until it was too late of course – was that she that she sent it BACK to the bat-$#@%-crazy manager as well as the others in the original email.

I don’t need to tell you the damage this caused her (but I will). Right away Miss Treated went into her manager’s office to apologize, and was reamed out for her actions – rightfully so. When she proceeded to tell everyone in the office what had happened, we all shook our heads and admitted that it wasn’t the smartest thing she could have done (sending the email as well as telling everyone about it).

She could have been fired for this, though she wasn’t. However, her career (and reputation) at the company never recovered. I’m just trying to emphasize how important it is to be smart about email. If you get caught doing something dumb like this, you deserve the consequences. Email is a tricky thing – and our emotions sometimes just crowd out the reason from our brains.

Another thing to remember is that company email is not your personal account! Whatever you send or receive can be viewed by others. Keep a Hotmail or Gmail account for personal stuff. Even still, if it's sent using company computers it may still be subject to another set of eyes.

Be smart about your email usage. Don’t let this happen to you.

Redeeming Value?

2006-10-29T17:40:00.000-05:00

As I promised yesterday...

Once you’ve been voted out of the "in" crowd at the office, you should really just throw in the towel and move on. It is usually not code for “try harder to get back into our good graces”.

I had witnessed someone who, time and again, did whatever they needed to do to get back into favor with the powers-that-be. It was so pathetic. Unfortunately, what that meant was: Someone was going to be a casualty of this effort. Even “light” conversation around this person needed to be highly guarded as anything you might say would be twisted around and then presented to the head of the department ("See how I look out for us? You should torment this other person instead of me"). As I said, pathetic.

It was not uncommon for improper subjects to emerge in performance reviews given by this person (“So… I hear that so-and-so is involved with so-and-so…”). How is THAT relevant to anybody’s review? That’s GOSSIP, not valuable advice leading someone toward a higher career path.

If this person asks you if you’re interested in pitching for a particular job promotion and you’re reluctant to answer, beware: this person will still go to the head of the group (or your own boss) and tell them so that they look good and you get tossed into the hot water. As a note: this is a popular tactic for this ne’er-do-weller. Speaking of hot water: if you suspect that this going on around you, you should be on full alert: you might be like the frog who doesn't realize that he's in water that's getting increasingly hot. By the time you realize it, you'll be boiled... and oh yeah, dead (or at least in political terms).

When I heard the stories surrounding this person I always wondered why they didn’t “get it”. I mean, at some point, you need to just pack it in – I’m sure that the powers that be at that company were well aware of what this person was capable of and was probably not trusted. What a troublemaker.

Kill Your Career or Sell Your Soul?

2006-10-28T17:29:00.000-04:00

In this Kiplinger article, one of the stated career killers is avoiding office politics.

While I generally view office politics as a negative thing, there are, of course, pluses to dabbling in it. Getting in with the upper powers-that-be can be beneficial to your career. Just be careful what you agree to or the information that you give away. Just because you want to advance your career does not give you license to throw others under the bus.

For me, I just see way too many downsides to it. It’s far too easy to fall in to disfavor with those powers-that-be. Once that happens, it’s too late to have any redeeming value – even if you do a great job.

Is it fair? Of course not, but that’s not the point. There is no such thing as fairness in business.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you a story about someone who continually tries to redeem themselves in the eyes of their superiors – often to the chagrin of their coworkers.

Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way: The Official Book Marketing Low-Down

2006-10-23T16:08:00.000-04:00

My book is on its way! It'll (finally) be available around Thanksgiving - I'll keep everyone posted. The following is some of the marketing material provided by the printer/publisher that will accompany the book's release:

"Gail Hamlin's new book, Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way: Tales of Survival From the Corporate Battlefield, tells the stories of embattled employees in the United States, struggling to do a good job, while at the same time having to put up with a moron for a boss. This is a widespread problem that the upper management of most American corporations invariably dismiss as rare or inconsequential, and thus not worthy of their attention. Even Big Media has generally neglected the plight of white-collar workers made miserable by the excessive demands, harassment, and overall stupidity of their so-called "superiors."

The book's stories are true, and are intended to inform, horrify, and entertain the reader, all at the same time. The book informs the reader as it provides an accurate overview of exactly what is happening in far too many workplaces in America. The book horrifies in the sense that, even for readers who are veterans of management idiocy, they may be stunned to learn of true incidents that can boggle the mind. The book entertains through its genuine humor, irreverent perspective, and satirical tone.

Yet the book also offers help and hope, because each chapter offers a lesson to be learned from the corporate management problem upon which it focuses, as well as thoughtful commentary which can serve as an effective starting point for the employee -- or the wise organization -- to begin addressing and solving the problems, before further damage is done to the workers who make such organizations even possible."

Think Getting Promoted is the Hard Part?

2006-10-21T17:52:00.000-04:00

Think again! It’s great that you finally got that promotion into a managerial position, but now you’ll have to prove that you’re worthy of the spot. Believe me, that’s easier said than done. While you most likely have the knowledge of the job which is what got you in, you now need to know how to supervise others.

Unfortunately, you don’t usually get a neat little handbook on how to effectively manage a team. However, there is a general guide you can follow. (Incidentally there’s an interesting article about this very topic here). While I won’t get into all of it today, I will start with the following:

Just remember – it’s never about you. So, while YOUR boss may love you to death, one wrong move with your staff and you’ll drown. If you have terrible people skills (and if you just don’t care) you can very easily misguide your otherwise bright employees. Don’t laugh: I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen talented people reduced to ashes once the wrong manager got through with them. It’s such a shame.

On the other hand, bright employees see what’s going on and hit the road fast. They realize that a bad manager will anchor them in the bulls***. Then you’ll be responsible for losing good employees. Of course, if you’re that bad, you’ll believe that they’re the problem and then seek to make them look even worse to your boss (who will probably continue to stand behind you).

Don’t be a bad boss… get a clue… ask for guidance and realize that your team is not the enemy.

The Executive Coloring Book

2006-10-16T15:05:00.000-04:00

Someone shared this with me and gave me a good laugh. Check it out and enjoy:

The Executive Coloring Book

Quit Your Whining!

2006-10-12T19:00:00.000-04:00

Plain and simple: everyone whines. However, there is a line between what is tolerated and what isn't. Here's what I mean: You come home from a miserable day at the office and just want to wallow in self pity to anyone who will listen. Most of your friends or family will be sympathetic and lend you a shoulder. Over time though, people get tired of hearing the same tune (believe me, I KNOW!).

Here's my beef with listening to someone else's sob story: You have my sympathy when it comes to dealing with a bad boss, coworker or whatever it may be at work (or in any other aspect of your life for that matter). I offer my advice when solicited and hopefully I make you feel better about your situation. If you do not follow my advice(or anyone else's), that's fine too. But if you do nothing and choose to pursue no course of action, then you will CEASE to receive my kind words. Frankly, I'll probably tell you to buzz off and get over it until you decide to take control of your situation. If you don't help yourself, then no one else can (or will want to) help you either.

I've said this countless times before: you have options. HR may not help you; but it still should be considered if you have tried other paths with your supervisors or those you are in conflict with. You need to do what you can. If that all fails, and sometimes it does, you can always quit your job. It's not usually smart to do so without a plan, but you can put one together and give yourself a target cut-off date. Do one thing everyday - regardless of how small - to help you move toward a better situation. I tried this approach (and it wasn't easy either), but it worked!

So quit your whining and start planning and doing!

There IS An Answer!

2006-10-08T15:44:00.000-04:00

I picked up a new book recently called 21 Dirty Tricks at Work: How to Beat the Game of Office Politics. While I have many issues with this book (for instance: Did anybody EDIT this thing???), I did come across a chapter that practically left me salivating for more. The reason: it offered a real answer.

I mean, how many times do you need to hear that you need to document workplace incidents and then take them to Inhuman Resources (who’ll probably never do anything with them anyway)? Of course, this is a “right” answer, it's just not the answer that works most of the time.

So let me tell you the scenario and what this book says about it that I like so much. This poor schmoe Jerry receives an offer for a “development opportunity” from his idiot boss, Ben. As most of you are aware, as soon as you hear the words “development opportunity” you usually duck and cover. We know better; this is rarely a good situation to be in.

What this is really about is office politics. The problem that arises much of the time from being caught in such a spot is that we never really know the best way to proceed. Well, these authors have a good solution: ask questions. I don’t mean just any questions about how to move forward with the project at hand, but more probing questions that diplomatically let the other person know you’re aware of what they’re doing to you. These questions also allow them the opportunity to level with you about whatever project or task they are giving you, or it can plunge them further into a lying mess. However, at least you will know if they’re lying! How great is this???

So, if you get tapped for a project that no one else will willingly touch, here are some questions that you can ask. If you try these, let me know so I can hear what kinds of answers are given.

Questions:

What exactly is involved?
What is the connection between this opportunity and my development plan?
How does this move my development forward?
How might this be a good move for the business? (Good idea to make this about the business rather than about yourself!)
Why have I been identified for this?
Who else was considered for this and why were they rejected?
What was the thinking behind me taking this on?
Why is this a good time for me to be pursuing this opportunity?
How might this be relevant to my current work and career plan?
What's in it for you?
What's in it for me?
What happens if I say "thanks, but no thanks"?

These are just some of the questions the authors laid out. Let me tell you, I love these questions so much I wish this book had been available at the same time my bat-$#@%-crazy managers made me swallow the miserable “development opportunity” they gave me a few years ago. It would have been great to hear their answers!

Don't Take That Job!!!

2006-10-05T11:55:00.000-04:00

Obviously any time you interview for a new job, one of the key things you ask yourself is, “Will I like it here?” and, “Will I fit in?” I know one big thing on my mind when I went on interviews was, “What is this potential future boss going to be like?”

Forget about things like skill and talent. There are other things that you pick up during an interview that help determine the likelihood that you will choose THEM, let alone them choosing YOU.

What kind of vibe do you get when you meet your interviewers? I’ve been on plenty of interviews to know that some scenarios will not work out. However, I also know that when you’re totally desperate you’ll accept almost any job offer. You need to be careful of this: you could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I was completely desperate to get out of my job. I don’t just mean desperate: I mean D.E.S.P.E.R.A.T.E.

Interestingly though, I did not jump at every single bite. Of course I wanted to get out… but I knew deep down that some companies would have been a bad fit. There’s so much to consider. One job I was offered I had to turn down because the salary was too low; I could only take so much of a cut. That was a real shame too, because the hiring manager was someone I truly would have enjoyed working with; there was a real connection when I met with this person.

Although, I had a very different experience on another occasion - at another company. I had had an interview scheduled at lunch. It was on the west side of Manhattan and I worked on the east side (I always worked on the east side). I’d been trying to get an appointment with this particular individual for months. I finally got a shot and off I went to meet with them. After an hour of waiting (right outside this person’s office – it’s not like I was waiting at reception and they forgot about me), I had to go to an assistant and find out if I needed to reschedule because I had to get back to work. As it turned out, they called me in right after that. But I then only had fifteen minutes for the interview because I was in a rush to split and the interviewer knew it. Even after keeping me for so long, I didn’t receive so much as an acknowledgement of the delay, let alone an apology for it.

So I walked out of there completely pissed. Desperate as I was, I basically scratched them right off my list. If they couldn’t honor an appointment time, what else were they not going to honor or show respect for? They knew I was on my lunch hour. This is a popular time for people schedule to interviews!

I am not completely innocent on this account though. One time I scheduled an interview for a candidate. Turned out, I swallowed an Idiot Pill that morning and I went into a meeting with my own manager. I totally forgot about the appointment. This poor candidate waited for an hour!!! I felt so terrible about it and was convinced that I’d never hear from them again. I did exactly that which I despised. Luckily, the person wanted the job and came back for subsequent meetings (I never overlooked another appointment!). We eventually hired them.

All I’m saying is; don’t get so ahead of yourself that you fail to consider your interviewer’s personality or habits before accepting a job with them. You could be grateful for it later.

Here’s to the Bad Boss?

2006-10-04T21:56:00.000-04:00

In this article I saw in the Times Online, the author suggests that bad bosses are good for us. They’re good because those of us who are mediocre (I’m not mediocre!) get the opportunity to really shine.

You see, this is where I have the problem. I mean, in theory, this is a good idea. But in reality; how often does this actually happen? Let’s look at it this way: if it’s true that 80% of the people leave their jobs because of bad bosses, then my guess is that they’re not getting any opportunity to do anything without the boss screwing it up for them.

Take myself as an example. It seemed like the more I succeeded, and the more I did to succeed, the more the bad things would happen. On top of that, when I tried to call out for help (and yes, I had documentation), Inhuman Resources sided with my bad manager.

**There is almost nothing you can do when those that are supposed to help you side with the enemy!**

Not only that, but I attempted to go over her head, which backfired. The fact that I had dozens of commendations and references did absolutely nothing. Everybody knew how good I was at my job – and it didn’t matter that she wasn’t as good.

So, is it possible to outshine these people? Absolutely. Just showing up with a pulse most of the time puts you at an advantage. But if no one around is going to notice (or if there’s nothing they can do about it), it just won’t matter. Then hopefully, you’ll be snagged by another company to shine there. And your bad boss will probably get another promotion... because they almost always do.

The Verdict’s In… As If We Didn’t Know

2006-10-02T16:12:00.000-04:00

So I read this article today that further bolsters the belief that working in a toxic environment results in negative physical consequences. Well, no kidding!

What is interesting in this article is something that the head of Working America points out. Karen Nussbaum remarks that while people have suffered through bad bosses for years now, the types of bad bosses that we see these days are much worse than they were years ago. Nowadays, bad bosses aren’t laughable; they’re horrifying.

There's a funny story of a boss who made his staff wear a rubber chicken around their neck when they made a mistake (I would have tied a cinder block around my boss’ neck and tossed them off a bridge), and an agonizing story of a boss who refused an employee the afternoon off when their mother was dying. You know, if there’s a dying parent in the picture, you know that employee isn’t taking off for giggles.

Furthermore, a quote from an HR rep in the article says that they don’t “have time” to be nice to employees. Oh I’m sorry, since when has it been okay not to have the common decency to show another person some respect? And please tell me why this person is working in HR!?!? The sad thing is, this isn’t the first I’ve read or heard about this phenomenon. What I don’t understand is why no one does anything about it. It really costs nothing to be polite to someone.

So, the people that are trapped in these situations (and I used to be one of them) need to have alternatives. They need to do a little of something everyday that makes them feel better. Personally, I don’t think it’s enough to pick up a new hobby. Hey, my job sucks because I have a mean boss, but hey; I know how to crochet now so I can make my own noose to hang from! Yippee!

No – people need to do things like work on their resume and either contact a couple of people each day in their network looking for a new job, or take a class that will give them a new skill to use to make them more marketable for a new job, or make preparations in order to quit. These things do not happen overnight. However, if a person can take these small steps on a daily basis, they will at least know that they are making progress toward a goal that makes their current stressful situation more finite.

Keep in mind: help is out there and there are always options.

What Are You Looking At?

2006-10-01T21:00:00.000-04:00

Eye contact is important. This simple, yet personalized, greeting or salute makes people feel important. Eye contact is extremely important for meaningful communication. Always remember; treat people the way you want to be treated.

I’ve seen firsthand the results when a manager refuses eye contact with their subordinates; it gets people talking and starts the gossip. Why? Maintaining eye contact helps to build trust and confidence with those you come into contact with. When that doesn’t happen, people notice. Not only that, they begin to think (whether they’re right or not) that something is wrong with the person.

If you notice too, it’s not that natural. I’m not talking about being distracted by something, like working on your computer. While it is rude, it’s not the same as sitting across from someone and having them stare at their desk – at nothing – while you’re giving them an update on a project. It’s a little weird.

So people begin to think things about this person. Their actions and motives become suspect. If establishing eye contact builds trust, then avoiding eye contact becomes suspicious. What are you trying to hide?

Who knows, maybe deep down they realize they’re an idiot manager and just don’t know how to pull themselves back up. It’s never too late to brush yourself and try again. What I find interesting is that people like this get to move up in the world. Just how exactly does this happen?

You know, researchers also say that people that have trouble making eye contact also have problems making friends. Of course they do. What kind of person would want to be friends with someone who can’t even look them in the eye. It’s just not inviting.

Fired? You’ll Live

2006-09-29T22:41:00.000-04:00

In his book The Art of Firing, Guy Kawasaki has this to say about firing:

"Look in the mirror. Ideally, the situation should have never come to this. You should have hired the right person. You should have set and communicated the right goals. You should have provided course corrections. Some of the “fault” probably belongs to you. It’s too late for the case at hand, but it’s not too late to prevent this from happening again, so take a good, long look in the mirror."

While I have never been fired from a job, I can say from what I’ve seen that getting fired isn’t the end of the earth. It’s a blow to the ego and stings when it happens, but I learned that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Or in many cases, bad people happen to otherwise good careers.

What I learned is that some people fall into the wrong roles. I agree wholeheartedly with Guy’s point about some of the fault falling on the person that hired the employee in the first place. It is up to them to be a fully competent leader. If you can’t lead your people, some of them simply won’t make it. That is not a reflection on them; it’s a reflection on you.

It does not always happen however, that the firing manager was also the hiring manager. Sometimes the firing manager walks into a bad situation where it’s simply too late for redemption. This is a scenario that I’m unfortunately familiar with. I knew it was too late for the employee and far too many things worked against them. In that situation it was not completely their fault. Hopefully, they see that now.

Getting fired from a job does not mean that you’re a bad person or aren’t smart. It just means that the person that fired you thinks so. Although your boss can have a big impact on your career and reputation, they are just ONE person and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of anyone else. As stated in Harvey Mackay’s We Got Fired, no one is immune to bad judgment or back stabbing. It’s just something to keep in mind.

For some, getting fired is the best thing that can happen. The following people have all been fired:

Larry King
Lee Iacocca
Joe Torre
Jesse Ventura
Michael Bloomberg
Billie Jean King

Getting fired can open other doors of opportunity for you. It may not sound great at first… but when the dust settles, you may agree that it was probably all for the best.

Blah, Blah, Blah... and Other Incoherent Words

2006-09-27T10:10:00.000-04:00

Top-notch presentation skills are a must in business. I can't tell you how many times I sat in meetings and suffered through bad speaker after bad speaker. That isn't because I don't want to tell you, it's simply because I lost count of how many bad speakers there are out there.

Believe me, I get it; not everyone is a natural-born public speaker. For most, these skills only come with a lot of practice. However, if you have a job that places you in front of people on a fairly regular basis (oh I don't know, like maybe in SALES), it's really in your best interest to learn how to present well.

It's a pet peeve of mine to listen to the repeated, "Ahhh's" and "Ummm's". It makes you sound ridiculous. Again, I'm talking about people that speak in front of others on a regular basis. This bad habit is distracting, and to me, is the equivalent of sitting with your mouth open and letting all the flies in. We all know how cool you look when you do THAT!

So what can you do to brush up on your presentation skills?

First of all: Get a clue! Know what you're going to talk about. It's easier to talk about things you know. So get on it and do your research.

Be clear! If you ordinarily have a difficult time conveying a coherent thought (and so many in business fall into this sad category), it's time to write out what you want to say and make sure it makes sense.

Don't read! If we want you to get up and do a reading, we'll call on you. Otherwise, put some effort into your presentation and try to at least remember the key points.

Sound human! We know you sometimes don't act like one, but if you're going to pull off an act in front of others, make sure you don't sound robotic. A monotone voice quickly turns an audience off. They'll never get your message.

These are just some things off the top of my head. Work on that for a bit and I'll be back tomorrow.

Office Romances for Dummies, Part III

2006-09-25T22:01:00.000-04:00

The last thing I mentioned about dating a coworker was to keep your personal business personal. Lock those secrets up like Fort Knox!

Here is today’s tidbit: Regardless of what you do to cover it up, you will eventually be found out. For me and my Significant Other, that came a year and a half into our relationship. My guess is that management put 2-and-2 together when my S.O. and I took vacation at the same time and ended up in Paris together. Boy, what a coincidence!

Now, I should mention that no one knew about it until the day before we left. Even then, we only told one or two of our friends. But again, you tell someone about a trip to Europe, that news will spread. Where we worked, traveling overseas was a big deal.

That said, I should mention that we were not in violation of any company policy. Intra-office dating was certainly permissible provided that it wasn’t between a manager and a direct subordinate. Although he and I worked in the same department, we were in separate groups and therefore we did not actually work together in any respect.

Still, word got out. I know I mentioned it two days ago, but it warrants repeating: things changed from then on. Management never said “Boo” to me about it (probably because they were not legally allowed to do so), but I know it hung over my head.

People have asked me if I would have done things differently if I’d known then what I know now. My answer is NO! I conducted myself like a professional as did my S.O. and there was never anything that could be said negatively about our behavior. It took eighteen months for anyone to take notice! It took others even longer. That should say something about our level of discretion.

So here’s the thing: Know your company’s policy on dating before you jump to it. Most companies however, don’t have a policy. It’s still crucial to keep in mind how your relationship will be perceived by others. Will it be frowned upon or not? Will you become a professional pariah or will things remain unchanged?

These are things that can affect your reputation so you need to know what you’re doing before you do it. Trust me on this one; I know A LOT about it!

IM: Devil in Disguise?

2006-09-24T22:52:00.000-04:00

Here's something that occurred to me: Is IM really good for us?

Employees like IM because it allows for the opportunity to stay connected with pretty much everyone they know. It’s a way to chat conveniently with co-workers, clients, and friends.

But has anyone given thought to the notion that IM is actually a bad thing? A tool designed to keep workers chained to their desks? So do you think bosses really hate this tool now or not?

In an article by cbsnews.com, studies show that individuals in office jobs tend to gain more weight. They gain more weight because they’re sedentary than those that work on their feet or who have more active jobs. Office workers are even more sedentary now due to the use of IM: You don’t have to get up off your ass anymore!

So, while your boss may bellyache that you (or anyone) is on IM nonstop – whether for work or social purposes – they will always know where you are. On top of that, it’s killing you! Weight gain can increase dangerous health risks.

Don’t give in to it. If you have the opportunity to see someone face-to-face, seize it! Your waistline (and probably your heart) will thank you for it.

Office Romances for Dummies, Part II

2006-09-23T15:48:00.000-04:00

…continued from yesterday:

True to my personality, I turned my date into an ax-wielding-homicidal-alcoholic-dead-beat-dad who chewed food with his mouth open before the date even happened. Forget about a second date; in my mind I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the first one. Luckily, that proved not to be the case.

What happened at the office: I either had to stop dating my beau or I had to stop talking to the people at work. I chose the latter. Social conversation did not cease altogether, however, I did separate myself a little bit from those I was friendly with. It’s hard to avoid an aspect of your life that you previously joked about with others. Still, I knew it needed to be done or my reputation potentially would be finished.

So here’s today’s advice: Don’t share secrets with others that you do not want becoming public! Even though people promise, they still can crack under pressure or just innocently slip up. Consider if that’s a risk worth taking. For me it wasn’t.

There is a way you can test the waters if you really want to share this with others: let them in on smaller secrets and see if you hear about it through the grapevine. It’s an option, that’s all I’m saying.

Stay tuned for more tales of Office Romances for Dummies…

Office Romances for Dummies, Part I

2006-09-22T13:08:00.000-04:00

It’s easy to find people to date at work. You probably spend more time at the office than anywhere else. Why go bar-hopping for singles when they could be right under your nose? An article on askmen.com suggests waiting up to a year to get to know a coworker before you begin to date them. It may be fair advice, but who waits a year to date anybody?

I’ll admit, when I asked a coworker out for a date it was cause for trepidation. Yes, I dated a coworker… for several years (we live together but no longer work together). Realistically I was pretty sure he would accept the offer, although rejection did fly through my mind. What would happen if he said No? I certainly didn’t know him well enough to be sure that he wouldn’t go around to everyone telling them that I invited him out. What would happen once he said Yes? Again, I didn’t know that he wasn’t going to blab to everyone or even make up stories.

So how did I do it? I made the invitation as simple and “non-date” as I possibly could. The offer was to get together for a cup of coffee or tea (whichever he preferred). This way, if he did blab to anyone, I could very reasonably say that Yes, I invited him for coffee… no harm in that, is there? So if everyone found out the worst they’d know is that we shared a cup of coffee. Big deal. So I took the chance.

Would it have been better to forge a friendship first? Well, technically speaking, by inviting him out for coffee I was forging a friendship. I didn’t want it strictly to remain a friendship though - and I certainly didn't want to wait a year for that to change. I think this is a natural thing. Sure, there are people that get involved with others from the office who are longtime friends before there is ever any romantic involvement. I just think that if there’s someone you’re attracted to, waiting a year for them is a very difficult thing to stick to – and not very realistic.

Stay tuned for more tales of Office Romances for Dummies…

Time Management Techniques

2006-09-20T19:16:00.000-04:00

For the discerning micromanaging boss: Microsoft has a Journal feature that works real well. When turned on, it tracks all of your activities until you turn it off. It helps you guage how long certain tasks take. This way your bat-$#@%-crazy boss can either constantly check up on what you’re doing or simply receive super-detailed status reports each day. Microsoft calls this “evaluating your efficiency”. Either way, it’s delightful (right). Of course, it might actually help when your manager sees exactly how disruptive they are to your day when they see how much they interrupt you.

There’s also this bit on time management: Follow this link to see suggestions on how to manage your email while you’re out of the office. I can tell you how I manage email when I’m out of the office: I ignore it! If I’m on vacation or taking a personal day, I’m NOT concerned with what’s going into my email. If I don’t run the company, I don’t give a rat’s ass. It’ll still be there tomorrow.

Here’s another thought: Hire Wile E. Coyote to chase after your idiot manager. I hear he freelances (the coyote). Of course, he’s never been really successful, but his techniques are sure to give you a reprieve from your boss’ delusional antics for an afternoon. If nothing else it should provide some much-needed comic relief.

History Proves That Not Every Leader Is a Good Boss

2006-09-19T13:37:00.000-04:00

Just take a look at these, for example:

Caligula
Sure, he’s the kind of guy that wants to have a good time. However, his idea of a good time involves watching various acts of barbarism over supper. So, if the company’s had a bad year, you and your team may be this year’s “entertainment” at the holiday party.

Niccolo Machiavelli
Niccolo is certainly a man known for getting things done. Not known for his “soft” skills, Niccolo invented throwing employees under the bus to move ahead centuries before it became fashionable.

General George Patton
This is a man who would require some training when it came time for giving annual performance reviews to his staff. Always known for being blunt, his opinions made him wildly unpopular with the masses. Kinda reminds me of a boss I once had. I shudder to think.

Count Dracula (a.k.a. Vlad III the Impaler)
Vlad III is another man known for getting things done as well as being a great strategist. Again, tick this boss off and he’ll impale you where you’ll die a very slow and painful death.

Mary, Queen of Scotts
Although she had the ability to rally the people to her cause (somewhat), she repeatedly made bad decisions that eventually landed her in a lot of trouble. Mary takes an updated approach to Machiavelli’s throwing people under the bus rule. Never one to admit mistakes, it would be crucial to keep a concrete paper trail to protect your own hide from Mary.

Sigmund Freud
Just think how infuriating this man would be to work for? You'd never really know what he was thinking, or you'd be wondering if he's analyzing your every last move. Forget about it if a problem arises; he'll start pulling you apart by telling you it's because of the relationship you have with your mother. Who wants to work for THAT?

Ike Turner
There's no pleasing this man (like SO many bosses I've had!). He had a groovy thing with Tina there for a while, but things went south REAL fast. If he was your boss, chances are he'd be a lawsuit waiting to happen. Working for Ike, you'd want to have your lawyer by your side. Oh yeah, and don't ever be late.

Pizza Parties = Bad News

2006-09-18T16:03:00.000-04:00

I once worked at a company that used to deliver bad news by throwing pizza parties. Okay, so sometimes the pizza would follow the bad news, but it was always clear why us pee-ons were eating pizza: management thought they could buy us with food.

Here's a hint: If anyone wants to buy me with food, please buy me a 2 lb. lobster and have a bottle of Piper Heidsieck chilling. That's how you impress me and make me forget whatever news you had to deliver. I'm easy like that.

But pizza? Come on, I could walk to the corner and get some slices myself, thankyouverymuch.

It was funny though. When several of us got "restructured", we counted down the days till the next pizza gathering. They were so predictable.

Dressed for Success?

2006-09-17T13:31:00.000-04:00

Years ago when I still believed that I could move up in my career, I had a conversation with my manager. I'd been working at this particular company for over a year and I was getting concerned with what I needed to do to get promoted.

My manager told me that I needed to dress for the job I wanted. Of course I couldn't afford to dress quite like that, but I caught the drift: I needed to dress for success.

Then I thought some more about it and it struck me odd that this advice was coming from an individual who rotated the same 3 outfits for as long as I knew them. Not only that, this person smoked non-stop. So on top of the same 3 outfits, there was a consistent stale stench of old cigarette smoke. To make matters worse, when I used to speak to my manager I had to hold my breath because their breath was so awful it could peel wallpaper.

Thankfully I got the promotion I worked for... and then I no longer had to report directly to this person. But I just find it interesting that it's people like this that give advice that they themselves don't heed.

When You’ve Been “Restructured”

2006-09-15T01:24:00.000-04:00

Back on August 29th, I posted an article entitled Because I’m the Boss, That’s Why. It was a teensy rant on “change management” (read the post to see why).

As I was sweating it out in my Bikram Yoga class this morning, I determined I needed to include one other little thing about it.

Change Management + Restructuring = I QUIT

I was restructured in my last job. It certainly felt as though my talents were tossed to the wayside (and indeed they were). However, in addition to hearing the rhetoric about how change was good for me and how I needed to be flexible (oh I hate that one), what really got me was how my managers said that I would be better at this job. Apparently I possessed many of the qualities for this new area that I was placed in. Okay, but what about the rave reviews I received while at my previous post?

There was no prior discussion about a completely new job or direction that I might be interested in. Nor was there any forum for me to display these talents that they told me I possessed that would make me excel in my new role. I was a true “people person” that was being ripped from a role that I enjoyed – because of the people – into a role that forced me into a dark corner – completely away from all people. Now how do you suppose that transition went?

In order for change to work for all involved, there really needs to be open communication. When there isn’t, it makes people feel as though they’ve been sabotaged, and frankly that would be accurate. I’ve said it before, but this kind of behavior screams, “Leave”. I don’t think that this behavior can be interpreted any other way.

Do you?

Burnt Popcorn

2006-09-12T21:31:00.000-04:00

That's right. I'm surprised that I never brought this tale up. This isn't about any bat-$#@%-crazy manager that I've ever worked for. This is about office ettiquette.

At two different times in my career I had the unfortunate luck of sitting next to the office pantry. Let me say this: The office pantry is a communal area. People forget this. The first time I sat next to the pantry it put me off popcorn for almost 4 years. 4 YEARS!!! People go in, set the microwave timer, then proceed to WALK AWAY! Yeah, you wouldn't leave anything unattended on the stove at home would you? So why do you feel the need to leave the popcorn popping on its own, assuming that it won't BURN? This happened almost everyday.

Then, as I mentioned, I had the great luck of sitting next to the pantry in my last job. Why couldn't I be that woman who won the lottery twice? No, I got to inhale burnt popcorn fumes everyday.

What made it worse was that people used to COOK their lunches in the microwave too. Very often they cooked fish. FISH!!! My desk was the first desk from the pantry. However, by the time the stench of fish got to my desk and I ran to see who the culprit was, they were gone. I never caught the guilty party.

So folks, the moral to today's story is: Learn how to cook a real meal - AT HOME - and NEVER leave popcorn popping unattended.

Really!

Take the Gun, Leave the Cannoli

2006-09-10T23:02:00.000-04:00

There’s a book I’ve been peeking at called Managing Workplace Negativity.

There’s a little chapter in here which provides “quick fixes” for overcoming individual and team negativity. I read some of these tips and had instant knee-jerk reactions to them. After the first two or three it felt like I was responding to a Rorschach ink blot test. Here’s a glimpse of what was going through my mind when I read the following:

Set ground rules

No touching of the hair or face. Leave no visible marks.

Set a time limit for negativity

It started 5 minutes ago and will continue for the next 3 years or until we finally force you to quit.

Keep thoughts in the present

Presently I’m thinking you’re the worst manager I’ve ever worked for. You should be bound and gagged.

Wear a rubber band and snap away the negativity

That way you can take it off and use it for your slingshot and hurl burning wads of paper at your nemesis, I mean, your bat-$#@%-crazy manager.

Take some pictures

Relive the kill over and over and over…

Have a favorite saying

“You are unfit to breathe. You are unfit to breathe. You are unfit to breathe.” Repeat it like a mantra.

Play your winners

Hopefully you’ll be more successful than Wile E. Coyote

Look at quality criticism as a plus

After all, no one knows how to say it better (or make you feel worse) than an incompetent nincompoop such as your boss.

We’ll Never Know

2006-09-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

Many managers and senior executives don’t care why valued employees leave the company.

In the book 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave, 89% of the managers polled believe that employees leave for more money, but 88% of employees actually leave for other reasons (like crazy managers).

At this rate, if people continue to fudge their exit surveys upon departure, no one will ever really know why people leave a company or be able to do anything about it. Most people, when they do an exit interview, are polite because they’re afraid to burn a bridge in case they may one day need a reference. Come on people, if the job sucked that bad and you were leaving because of it, wouldn’t you want to let someone know about it so it didn’t happen to the next person? I’m not suggesting that you be nasty or unprofessional about it. However, if you were passed over for a promotion or didn’t receive constructive feedback or whatever, I think it needs to be said for the record.

Exit interviews may be hard for some people, I get that. But if people never say anything, they will never be heard. Ya dig?

Let the Negative Feedback Fly!

2006-09-06T23:43:00.000-04:00

Today, in my endless quest for unending research and far too many details, I came across an interesting blog: Management Skills Blog.

While I haven’t yet had the time to give it the ‘ol critical eye, today’s post caught my attention. Appreciation Feels Goofy touches the subject of managers giving appropriate praise where it is due to their staff. You’ve heard me go off on this before: I had a manager once who used to get her panties all up in a twist over this very idea:

“Why should I give you praise for doing your job? This is what you get paid for.” Gee, thanks Boss.

Now here’s what I found interesting about this post: Tom Foster explains to the manager in his story that as a manger, they would point out a mistake to an employee, right? A manager should (constructively of course) point out the error to avoid it the next time. The same should be done with mistakes or areas that “need attention”.

Then someone left a comment to Tom’s post remarking how giving praise takes practice.

Well let me tell you how many managers I know of that have plenty of practice beating up their staff over “mistakes” like commas, font, and color in emails! They don’t seem to be too shy over letting their staff know where they went wrong do they? And yet, when I’ve questioned it (the giving positive reinforcement part), I got the response that “that’s what you get paid for.”

For some people, there aren’t enough management training courses to show them the light. I hang my head and sigh. *sigh*

Fed to the Wolves?

2006-09-05T15:00:00.000-04:00

I’ve been reading Was Your Boss Raised by Wolves recently (yes I know, such fun books I amuse myself with), and I’ve come across many interesting tidbits. Of course I won’t get into all of them at once, but I will talk about first story that struck me. It was the story about a man who, although he was a good worker and good at what he did, ultimately was squeezed out of his job (actually I think he was fired) because he did not fit in with the company’s corporate culture. It sounds to me as though whoever was in charge of hiring him did not have the foresight to know that this was not going to work out.

If there isn’t a stringent hiring process in place, then there needs to be. So this poor guy I read about was ripped a new one every day he went in to work. It made me uncomfortable to read the story because quite frankly, it really hit home. I’m also sure that this happens more than we realize as well. It’s important to thoroughly screen all viable candidates before bringing them on board for a specific job.

If your company is a fast-paced investment banking firm where people live or die by the stock market, it might not be the best place for someone who lacks a killer instinct. It really hits the employee very hard and it’s unfair. I know, here I go again all “Whah, life’s not fair”, but people don’t seem to look out enough for one another. It’s great if someone has the credentials to do a job, but getting a job done and fitting in to the overall culture of a business are two very different animals. In the end, the fired employee then has to explain to the next prospective employer why they have that smudge against them and it’s just not their fault. It does suck to be them.

Just something else to think about folks. Carry on.

Six Degrees of Weirdness

2006-09-01T10:42:00.000-04:00

Can You Really Fix Your Bad Situation?

I’ve been maintaining this blog for the better part of a year now. It’s been chock full of my own stories, stories from battered friends in similar (offensive) work situations, and whatever craziness I made up along the way. Additionally, I’ve read countless books and articles on the subject of bad bosses/coworkers in particular and how to survive them (I mean, just wait till you get a load of my book’s bibliography!).

What I have found is that not one person has the “right” answer. There are many individuals out there that claim they know how to “Manage a Manager” and how to cope with “Bat-$#@%-Crazy Managers” and toxic workplaces, but really… just how many people have been successful with this? I question this because of all the things I’ve read and advice I’ve received - and none of it worked.

The reason? Varying degrees of idiocy and toxicity.

For the most part, the advice I’ve read seems reasonable. But when I tried to put it into practice, it only backfired on me and made my situation worse. And really, I didn’t think it could have been made too much worse.

So, the success rates of these “solutions” primarily rest upon those involved. Of course, the defendants taking the advice need to do their part correctly. Then, and here’s the unpredictable part, the others involved need to respond in the way that the solutions say they’re supposed to. If weirdos in the workplace are the new normal, then how is it possible that there can be positive outcomes for the poor schlub beaten down by those over him? Is it any wonder that so many people are quitting and going into business for themselves?

I think the answers given by the “experts” may offer a new perspective on a situation (maybe not), but at the end of the day, there is absolutely no way to tell who has the “right” answer.

And the Winner is…

2006-08-30T17:39:00.000-04:00

Just suppose that you could choose who your next boss would be. You know - like if you could vote for them in an election.

Of course, having an election could potentially bring in a whole new set of problems and office politics. But let’s put that aside for the time being.

Who would you vote for? What qualities would you value over others? Holding an election not only makes the candidate work hard for the job, but makes the candidate accountable to the people they will lead. They will have to prove that they are good leaders, good workers, good communicators, and of course good people.

For good measure (and to see if they’re a true sport), you should hold relay races as well as debates. Potato sack races might work too. If you want to see how crafty they are, send them on a treasure hunt with the job they want at the end if they win it. You could set up an obstacle course for the candidates to navigate through while riding tricycles.

Let’s face it; at the end of the day it would be good to have a boss with a sense of humor. Tests and games would allow that to shine through. Here’s the opportunity to test the theory. I mean really, why should the stuffy upper management be the only ones to decide who gets promoted? Their opinions might be valued, but the people who will be governed should choose their leader.

Now who’s up for a good game of “Pin the Spine on the Boss”?

Because I'm the Boss, That's Why!

2006-08-29T13:17:00.000-04:00

In the book The Dictionary of Corporate Bulls*** by Lois Beckwith, change management is defined as, “1. overseeing the process of change or transition in an organization. 2. consultant lingo for “cutting away the dead wood,” i.e., laying you off. An ugly process that senior management farms out to consulting firms so that the execs don’t have to deal with the messy business of restructuring.”

Change Management is an ugly phrase, bringing up a host of unpleasant images and feelings. This is why I don’t like the book Who Moved My Cheese. Same nonsense. It sounds to me like employees must be flexible enough to roll with the punches and adapt to changing environments. But, has anyone really looked at these changes?

People, when they are hired to do a job, are more or less at the mercy of their bosses and going to do what they are told… at least in theory (and let’s go with that theory please). I know in my last job, I was often asked to present a particular report in a variety of ways. It happened too that the boss would make countless changes to these reports before I finalized the product. All of this is fine and good because I was doing what I was hired to do. But, what made those changes any good? Suppose those changes were only to serve the egos of our managers? So then, if I were to speak up about a “change” like, perhaps I suggest things be done differently, why would I then be considered inflexible? It would make me inflexible and my boss a genius, because let’s face it; it couldn’t be the other way around now, could it?

Let’s also look at restructuring. This is one of my favorites.

Change Management + Restructuring = I QUIT

I’ll tell you why: I was hired to do one job with a semi-set realm of responsibilities. When I am thus “restructured” into a completely different job area with completely different responsibilities, the talent I was hired for is no longer being used. My guess is also that this is management’s way of letting someone go without needing the spine to actually fire them. Again, this makes them look like heroes while I’m “resistant to change”. Of course it couldn’t be the other way around.

I’m guessing that it’s management’s overall insecurity that enacts a lot of this "change management". But that’s just my guess.

When All Else Fails...

2006-08-28T22:20:00.000-04:00

...it's time to get the hell outta Dodge.

Everyone has their limits. If you’ve honestly given your job the good ‘ol college try and nothing has worked, then it’s time to go. Seriously. As I've said countless times, I do not claim to have the answers as many others do. I’m not even sure that there are answers - or at least the right ones. I can tell you what I've done, what's worked and what hasn't worked (unfortunately there's more that hasn't worked).

Results are largely dependent upon who you work with. Try as you may, you will never be able to change others. It may be possible to work out the occasional compromise, but stupid bosses will always be stupid. It’s best to know how to protect yourself while still doing what you were hired to do. If you can no longer do that and your reputation as well as your sanity are hanging in the balance, then it’s time to cut your losses and move on.

Been There? Done That? You're Hired!

2006-08-26T09:51:00.000-04:00

Granted, this focuses on the accounting and finance areas, but I still think it’s interesting. Robert Half International conducted a survey for CFO’s asking them the determining factor in a new hire. It’s universally accepted that it’s all about WHO you know, rather than WHAT you know, right? Wrong! This survey suggests that hiring managers will hire you based on your experience. So there is reason to keep some faith during your next job hunt.

Then again, that’s all fine and good until you find out that your competition for the job (or the promotion) is the president’s son or someone else who is owed a favor by the same hiring manager. That would suck… but that’s life, isn’t it?

(Now that’s more like it! After all, I don’t feel like I’ve gotten my money’s worth until I’ve been properly screwed.)

Fan Club or Fight Club?

2006-08-25T07:39:00.000-04:00

Creating tension will only cause problems; they will not lead to work getting done faster or more efficiently. Be a part of the solution, not the problem (don't you love cliches?). Create a fighting force that will accomplish amazing feats and make you look like a superstar. No one will do that for you if you put them down or threaten them.

I mean, at the end of the day if you’ve done your job right, there would be no need for the boss to be anything other than grateful to you for doing what you’re supposed to, right? I get it: what do we expect when we accomplish that which we’re hired to do, right? This isn’t about anyone bowing down to us. This is about courtesy and mutual respect. We do not expect you to lick our boots, but you can repay us not just by giving us a paycheck every other week, but by not finding fault with something completely unrelated and solely for the sake of putting us down. There’s always tomorrow to nitpick about an issue that needs attention. Right now we need to feel like we’re not total failures. We’d appreciate it if you can remember that from time to time.

Who's the Boss?

2006-08-22T23:17:00.000-04:00

No, this isn’t about bad 80’s programming. This is about how close is too close with the boss? While this suggests romantic involvement, I’m talking about forging friendships between manager and subordinate. Is this is a good idea or a bad idea?

I might still be on the fence on this one; I’ve seen it work and I’ve seen it backfire. It can be a tough call. On the one hand, the friendlier the relationships, the more willing both parties are to help the other. Trust is something that is also likely to exist.

I’ve had this situation work out where I trusted my subordinate (whom I’d known before they were my subordinate). There was an unspoken understanding and camaraderie in the wake of my bat-$#@%-crazy manager’s delusional behavior. My subordinate knew that anything “wacky” out of my mouth came from my supervisor.

I’ve also seen this set-up fail. There once was a manager who was friendly with their staff and was promptly discouraged from continuing any friendship with her subordinates. Was it b/s? Probably. Especially since this manager started her employment without any guidance or supervision and thus had no clue what the functions and responsibilities were. So what happened? The employees guided the manager and there ensued an “us versus them” mentality. To say it ended badly is an understatement. This manager (who, btw, is the wind beneath my wings), left. The employees were left behind with their resentment of upper management. It was an ugly situation.

What happened then was your’s truly was forced to step in to lead this unhappy group of riff raff and produce results. Although I totally understood how they felt, I quickly became torn once threatened with termination. So, while I never really agreed with what went on, I was unable to go to bat for the team and they didn’t understand. It was unfortunate; we were all in a bad place. The way the employees saw it, I “switched sides” although that was never farther from the truth. Never.

Would it have been better for me never to have been on their side? Perhaps. Each situation is different and therefore I have no one answer to give. I’ve been on all sides of this issue. Just something to ponder.

Lessons learned...

2006-08-21T11:32:00.000-04:00

Managers as well as workers need to remember not to sweat the small stuff. Something is always going to happen. We need to deal with that. Chances are, there’s going to be things that drive us mad about our bosses. It’s just the way it is. Pick and choose your battles smartly. Let the small stuff go. You’ll have to or you’ll go mad.

On the other hand, managers really need to chill. Mistakes are not the end of the world. Sometimes, mistakes are needed in order to move forward or do things more efficiently in the future. If there’s a mistake such as, you left off a comma in a 10-page memo to a group, this is not a tragedy. There’s a big difference between mistakes like that and several grammatical issues that alter the meaning of a message, or the same mistakes over and over.

My big thing was always: Is the work correct? If yes, then get over the fact that I failed to bold a word on page 399, or left out a set of parentheses where there should be a set. It was a mistake. Let me know about it, I’ll fix it and won’t do it again next time.

If I make repeated mistakes however, that may be a little different. But still, it’s not as though I’m failing to report millions of dollars in company liability due to a glitch in the system that I should have caught long before. I mean, that’s something that could (and should) lead to termination. But commas, font style and color? Boss please… let me get back to work.

The Corporate Bloodsuckers Moved Your Cheese

2006-08-20T13:02:00.000-04:00

Who Moved My Cheese is a book that’s supposed to be an endearing metaphor about mice that learn how to think “outside the box” and broaden their horizons in response to the changing times in their little world. I want to squash those mice. I’ve been a vegetarian for almost sixteen years and that’s how I feel about those little guys. Cute, nothing.

They set the stage for disaster. Let me explain.

The point they make is obvious; in order to move forward in business you need to move with the times and be adaptable. This is the best way to be successful. Those who don’t change and remain rigid in their ways and practices are stepped on, “starved out”, or simply left behind.

In theory, this is good advice. I mean, how many of you have been told “No” to trying something new because, “It’s always been done this way”? Well, to me the book came to mean something else.

When my boss handed this book to me a few years ago, I should have seen the writing on the wall. Boy, was I naïve. I interpreted the book to be what it was: a metaphor.

What my boss was really saying: “We’re going to knock you on your ass with constant ‘restructuring’ and tell you how it’s good for you. Meanwhile, we’ll increase your workload, berate you, belittle you, and walk all over you. Basically, we’re going to do everything we can to either push you out or just make you cry like a little girl with a skinned knee… because we feel like it.”

This book was merely a sign of events to come. How I wish I’d had the foresight to know.

English as a First Language

2006-08-19T15:13:00.000-04:00

Communication… managers need to learn how it works. Long gone are the days where we simply do what we are told. Now, at best, we need to repeat what our bosses say, write it down, and follow it up with an email. And that STILL gives us no guarantee that our bat-$#@%-crazy manager isn’t going to turn around and clobber us with, “That’s not what I told you to do!”

Also, it would help if they knew how to explain what needs to be done. It’s great that Miss Manager knows what she's doing, but if I have to ask her four times to restate it differently, that means she needs to find a better way to go about explaining it. Based on my experience of "getting it", I know the misunderstanding is not from my stupidity. This inability to be able to lace together a single coherent thought is, I'm sorry to say, commonplace. This is just reality.

Aside from that, people learn things differently. Some people learn by seeing it done, others by doing it, others by hearing it, and still others by putting it under their pillows at night and learning by osmosis. Okay, I pulled that last one out of thin air because I thought it sounded good.

When I was still incarcerated in Corporate America and managing others, I used to write up extensive “How-to” manuals that literally took a person by the hand on what needed to get done for every task. If anyone found a better way to perform step #3 than as I laid it out, I would tell them to go for it and make the change. Or, if something needed further clarification, I would go back and re-write it. I never completed a manual from start to finish on my own. If there were others that needed it, then it needed to pass their inspection. Let’s face it; sometimes someone else has a better way to phrase things. As a manager, it's key to learn some of these ways and use them. It makes better managers and gets past the fact that they don't know how to explain anything to anyone else. It's also about getting over the ego thing.

I’m just saying.

Cupid in the Cubicle

2006-08-07T12:20:00.000-04:00

Office romances are a way of life. When you consider how much time is spent at the office, it’s really no surprise that work becomes a great way for singles to meet other singles.

The problems arise when you:

A: Blab about your trysts to all of your friends
B: Play footsie during the weekly meetings with your paramour
C: Date while going against company policy
D: Have a very public break up

While there are many people that see no problems with intra-office dating as long as the work is not interrupted, there are plenty of people that will tell you not to go there. It’s a fine line to walk, so tread carefully.

More to come