b Self-Helpless: True Tales of a Working Girl: It's Not Me, It's YOU

12/01/2005

 

It's Not Me, It's YOU

A.K.A.: "Just Let Your Boss BE the Boss!" Part II

I have been working in my industry for MANY years now. Some words used to describe my status are "Veteran", "Industry Expert", "Gretta Gorgeous", "Femme Fatale", etc. Ok, so mostly "Veteran" and "Industry Expert". The point I'm trying to make is that I know my business and I know what I'm talking about.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, my manager needs to have a hand in EVERYthing that I do. Personally, the reason I think she gets ticked most often at me is because I don't share the details of when I go to the restroom during the course of the day. After all, it's probably the only thing I do that she can't control.

That said... as part of my job I am deeply immersed in emails. On a daily basis, I receive an average of 200 emails. Naturally, I respond to many of these.

If I need to address the masses in one email, I usually do it with one "grandaddy" of a memo. Since I'm working with my bat-S&$*# crazy manager for a few years now, I know that she likes the emails to be well-formatted pieces of art. Key words are highlighted and bullet-points go hand-in-hand with each new paragraph. On a good day, there may even be some color added on the font to really drive the point home of "Please be aware we are distributing sales reports to you lucky suckers".

As a rule, my manager requires all emails to pass through her to receive the stamp of approval before I'm allowed to send anything out. As I mentioned above I am an industry veteran, an expert in my field. And yes, I am an adult. As per yesterday's post, I am also a published author. Believe me when I tell you, I have to bring my emails to my boss for her to proofread before I send them out. I am back in the 5th grade. Only I don't recall that experience as being so demeaning. Let me tell you, I went to Catholic school where they enjoyed pounding the fear of God and the whole guilt theme into you. That was WAY better than treading the path to my idiot manager's office to have a simple memo approved.

I should also mention, these memos that I send out are more or less reconstituted notes from the recent and not-so-recent past. Since I know that my manager will find no less than 5 things wrong with a three-sentence paragraph, I decided to conduct a little experiment. I dug through my archived files to find emails that my manager sent out with the same or similar messages. I updated the emails to make them relevant and then passed them along for review.

Well wouldn't you know it: My bat-S&$*# crazy boss found no less than 5 things wrong with her own damn emails!

The moral to today's story is: No matter how good you are at your job, there is no antidote for bat-S&$*# crazy managers. So take a deep breath and repeat as a mantra the words of Stuart Smalley, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh-darnit, people like me!" Then club your idiot boss like a baby seal, stuff her into trash bags and toss her into the incinerator.

Have a nice day!

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Comments:
PostalPete Says:

PiedPiper, surprisingly I worked, for what looked like a human being, that was exactly like the boss you're describing. Scarily (I think I just made up that word) similar, hmmmmmmmm

Anyway, I never had homicidal thoughts until the year I worked for a similar psycho. I can now fully comprehend why people turn to the bottle and form addictions. Addictions became very clear!
 
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