b Self-Helpless: True Tales of a Working Girl: A Course Book in Mis-Management

1/05/2006

 

A Course Book in Mis-Management

I’ve read that workplace bullies are often highly intelligent people. It’s funny for me to think of my Idiot Boss as smart when she exhibits so many traits to the contrary. However, it got me to thinking: Just where exactly do these people receive their education?

Then I did a little research and found it: A course book in Mis-Management (at an institution that shall remain nameless). In order to receive a degree in this major, credits are required in the following areas:

Egotism 101

School Yard Domination (1st and 2nd year students only)

Ballroom Bullying

Power Trips 101

Mastery of Illusion (Works especially well with Power Trips 101)

World Dictators (Emphasis on modern leaders: Mussolini, Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot, Fidel Castro, etc)

Dictatorship (This class is for seniors only. Must complete World Dictators to be eligible for enrollment in this class)

Delusions of Grandeur

Brow Beating (available to students at every level)

Micromanagement (In order to be considered for acceptance into this class, a written paper is required on the topic: 101 Ways to Undermine Your Staff)

De-Motivation (Training is geared toward those individuals bent on thwarting any bright and ambitious worker that will report to them in the future).

In addition to the available courses, the school of Mis-Management also allows immediate membership into the student society of "National Idiot Bosses Association". Upon graduation, automatic membership to NIBA is granted. Those students that graduate with (dis)honors will receive a 15% discount on membership.

Acceptance into these schools weigh psychiatric evaluations very heavily. Only those narcissistic, deranged, borderline personality, sociopathic individuals will be considered. All others need not bother. Thank you very much.

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