1/07/2006
What Makes a Bully?
“People always say I didn’t give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn’t true. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in.” - Rosa Parks
In previous posts I’ve used names to describe Idiot Bosses, Toxic Managers and other sociopaths that we call our supervisors.
Today, with some help from Sam Horn’s book Taking the Bully by the Horns, I’d like to take a brief look at why they are the way they are. Ultimately, I don’t really care. It’s not my problem these people are bullies and it’s certainly not my burden. But, it’s interesting information nonetheless and I’m going to share it with you.
What Makes a Bully?
Lack of Self-Confidence:
Confident people feel good about who they are and how they live their lives. Bullies lack confidence so they therefore gang up on those of us that don’t in order to make themselves feel better.
Does your boss find fault with everything that you do? Under the strongest microscope, it is inevitable that you will find some fault with everyone. These individuals exist to do just that and then exploit it.
For example, my Idiot Manager will look through a 500 page report that I’ve submitted and then complain that I didn’t bold the font on one page’s header, but I did on all the other 499. She’ll then use that to say that I lack attention to detail.
I have another example that I can’t fail to use: Grammatical corrections. She’ll find some minute fault with every email possible. I’ve dug up old emails that she’s sent out and updated the information and sent it out. She’ll call me up and say that I should have phrased the memo differently. When I tell her that it was her email I’ve used, she’ll laugh nervously but still emphasize her point. I should also note, I got the idea to do this from others who have worked for her in the past. I love that one.
They Don’t Care:
People who bully do not possess a sense of empathy or guilt. They either don’t think they’re bullying, don’t care or they simply enjoy doing it.
I’ve asked my bat-$#@%-crazy manager to cease-and-desist when she does this to me, but she has yet to stop. Worse yet, she has the backing of her supervisor to continue demeaning and belittling me.
No Negative Consequences:
If no one’s going to stop them, the bullying will continue.
In my case, I took the proper route and documented everything and addressed it with Inhuman Resources. What happened: I was placed on written warning for insubordination. Then HR told me that my manager was allowed to say whatever she wanted about me and they would stand behind her - without even listening to my side of the story.
Bullies are Arrogant:
I don’t give my Idiot Boss enough credit for this… but, since in the previous point there are no negative consequences, she will continue to beat me down and use me for a welcome mat.
They Have a Certifiable Psychological or Biological Problem:
I’m just not even going to go here… you’re probably bright enough to know what this could mean.
Have a nice day.
In previous posts I’ve used names to describe Idiot Bosses, Toxic Managers and other sociopaths that we call our supervisors.
Today, with some help from Sam Horn’s book Taking the Bully by the Horns, I’d like to take a brief look at why they are the way they are. Ultimately, I don’t really care. It’s not my problem these people are bullies and it’s certainly not my burden. But, it’s interesting information nonetheless and I’m going to share it with you.
What Makes a Bully?
Lack of Self-Confidence:
Confident people feel good about who they are and how they live their lives. Bullies lack confidence so they therefore gang up on those of us that don’t in order to make themselves feel better.
Does your boss find fault with everything that you do? Under the strongest microscope, it is inevitable that you will find some fault with everyone. These individuals exist to do just that and then exploit it.
For example, my Idiot Manager will look through a 500 page report that I’ve submitted and then complain that I didn’t bold the font on one page’s header, but I did on all the other 499. She’ll then use that to say that I lack attention to detail.
I have another example that I can’t fail to use: Grammatical corrections. She’ll find some minute fault with every email possible. I’ve dug up old emails that she’s sent out and updated the information and sent it out. She’ll call me up and say that I should have phrased the memo differently. When I tell her that it was her email I’ve used, she’ll laugh nervously but still emphasize her point. I should also note, I got the idea to do this from others who have worked for her in the past. I love that one.
They Don’t Care:
People who bully do not possess a sense of empathy or guilt. They either don’t think they’re bullying, don’t care or they simply enjoy doing it.
I’ve asked my bat-$#@%-crazy manager to cease-and-desist when she does this to me, but she has yet to stop. Worse yet, she has the backing of her supervisor to continue demeaning and belittling me.
No Negative Consequences:
If no one’s going to stop them, the bullying will continue.
In my case, I took the proper route and documented everything and addressed it with Inhuman Resources. What happened: I was placed on written warning for insubordination. Then HR told me that my manager was allowed to say whatever she wanted about me and they would stand behind her - without even listening to my side of the story.
Bullies are Arrogant:
I don’t give my Idiot Boss enough credit for this… but, since in the previous point there are no negative consequences, she will continue to beat me down and use me for a welcome mat.
They Have a Certifiable Psychological or Biological Problem:
I’m just not even going to go here… you’re probably bright enough to know what this could mean.
Have a nice day.
