b Self-Helpless: True Tales of a Working Girl: My Boss, the Tick

5/28/2006

 

My Boss, the Tick

Bosses (particularly bad ones) can be likened to ticks for several reasons. The information on the ticks is courtesy of pestproducts.com

1: The first immature stage (larvae, which are many times called seed ticks) have only six legs. These larvae must find and attach themselves to a host in order to get a blood meal. After obtaining this blood meal they usually drop to the ground, shed their skin and emerge as 8-legged nymphs.

Bad managers are usually bad because they manage people. In order to cause any real damage they need to latch on to a poor unsuspecting schmuck for survival. Surprisingly, as incompetent as some bosses appear, they’re the ones that usually get promoted… just like the tick. The big differing point here is that the boss remains in an immature state.

2: Adult ticks may require several days of feeding before they are able to reproduce. Male hard ticks usually die soon after mating, and females die soon after laying their eggs.

Idiot managers try again and again to spread their venom (unwittingly of course). After awhile, their host wears down and gives in. Unfortunately, the managers don’t die. They get moved to the corner office. Why won’t they die???

3: Most ticks spend the bulk of their life on or near the ground, waiting for a suitable host animal. Since they cannot run, hop, fly or move quickly, ticks must climb onto an appropriate object such as tall grass or weeds or up onto fences and siding of buildings.

Most bat-$#@%-crazy bosses are like this too. They exist on the lowest rung of the morality ladder. They lack the intelligence and creativity to do things on their own which is why they have hosts, I mean, employees. The bright employees are the ones who usually do all the work without getting the credit. Then, after all of their hard work, the idiot bosses will further suck the life out of them by telling them they did a lousy job and steal away any shred of self-confidence they may still have about themselves.

4: Most ticks will feed on blood from a wide variety of animals, with only a few tick species feeding on but one kind of host.

Many bully bosses will continue to abuse one employee. Usually it’s the employee with confidence, a great reputation, willingness to please and good relationships with others. You know, the ones that actually pose a threat to their boss (at least in the boss' mind). After a few too many “feedings”, the employee begins to blame themselves for not being able to stand up straight after they’ve been completely sucked dry. They’re even willing to have transfusions so the tick boss can continue feeding.

Suckers.

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