b Self-Helpless: True Tales of a Working Girl: Once In a While, You Need to LOOK at Your Employees

7/28/2006

 

Once In a While, You Need to LOOK at Your Employees

Maintaining good eye contact is key to building trust and confidence with those you speak to. Communication is not done merely with words. People speak largely through non-verbal ways such as with their eyes.

One time I had a manager who almost never made eye contact. This particular individual was so visibly uncomfortable around other people it became laughable. At the same time, it was not easy to be around this person. Others, myself included, began to think that there was something really wrong with this guy. You know, there may be, it’s not for me to judge. However, my instincts were correct to question this individual’s motives.

When you hear that a person lying will avoid making eye contact, believe it because it’s definitely true. There’s also the belief that making little eye contact can say that the other person doesn’t like you. With this particular boss I had, that was definitely the case… although he probably didn’t like anyone else either because he rarely acknowledged others with his eyes. Weirdo. How does someone like this get to be in charge of people???

Wanna hear something good? Persistent eye contact is seen as an aggressive act. Funny, when I got written up by this manager, I looked directly at him and questioned the (false) charges. Although he refused to look at me, I continued to stare at him in hopes of getting his attention. Interesting… you write me up on a bull**** (read: made up) offense and then you proceed to ignore me during the meeting with Inhuman Resources. So, was he lying, being antisocial, or just an ill-mannered jerk?

You know, researchers also say that people that have trouble making eye contact also have problems making friends. Well I hope this guy is happy sitting home alone at nights and painting his Civil War miniature soldiers.

Good riddance!

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