9/22/2006
Office Romances for Dummies, Part I
It’s easy to find people to date at work. You probably spend more time at the office than anywhere else. Why go bar-hopping for singles when they could be right under your nose? An article on askmen.com suggests waiting up to a year to get to know a coworker before you begin to date them. It may be fair advice, but who waits a year to date anybody?I’ll admit, when I asked a coworker out for a date it was cause for trepidation. Yes, I dated a coworker… for several years (we live together but no longer work together). Realistically I was pretty sure he would accept the offer, although rejection did fly through my mind. What would happen if he said No? I certainly didn’t know him well enough to be sure that he wouldn’t go around to everyone telling them that I invited him out. What would happen once he said Yes? Again, I didn’t know that he wasn’t going to blab to everyone or even make up stories.
So how did I do it? I made the invitation as simple and “non-date” as I possibly could. The offer was to get together for a cup of coffee or tea (whichever he preferred). This way, if he did blab to anyone, I could very reasonably say that Yes, I invited him for coffee… no harm in that, is there? So if everyone found out the worst they’d know is that we shared a cup of coffee. Big deal. So I took the chance.
Would it have been better to forge a friendship first? Well, technically speaking, by inviting him out for coffee I was forging a friendship. I didn’t want it strictly to remain a friendship though - and I certainly didn't want to wait a year for that to change. I think this is a natural thing. Sure, there are people that get involved with others from the office who are longtime friends before there is ever any romantic involvement. I just think that if there’s someone you’re attracted to, waiting a year for them is a very difficult thing to stick to – and not very realistic.
Stay tuned for more tales of Office Romances for Dummies…
