b Self-Helpless: True Tales of a Working Girl: Things People Want to Say to the Boss

1/27/2006

 

Things People Want to Say to the Boss

Unfortunately, I cannot claim these as my own but I had to share them since they gave me a hearty laugh. This comes from my friends over at toxicboss.com:

Things People Want to Say to the Boss

- Call a proctologist. You need the stick removed from your ass.

- Please try to find another career that doesn't involve people.

- If I didn't have a sense of dignity, I'd have smashed your face into a wall at least a thousand times. Oh yes, and f*** off!"

- Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

- You are the reason we're losing employees.

- You are the weakest link. Goodbye!

- Get counseling, stay on your lithium, and remember when you powder your nose, don't snort.

- I've probably forgotten more than you'll ever know.

- You are unkind, uncaring, disloyal, hypocritical, inconsistent, impatient, impersonal, irrational, insincere, and prideful. In a few less words, you suck as a boss.

- Maybe if you weren't such a tyrant, I might feel more positive about my job and about you.

- What the hell happened to you in your childhood?

- Get out of my way and let me do my job.

- You need to seek professional help for your need to control your environment.

- The reason I am taking antidepressants is because of you.

- Combine low salary with a hostile, stressful work environment, and your bright employees will leave. The not-so-bright ones are left behind, perhaps explaining your high position in the organization.

- Your personal skills are a joke, you couldn't manage an ant farm!

- Become human!

- We only act like idiots because you treat us like idiots.

- If I acted like you, I'd want to hurt myself.

- The lost-and-found just called and said they had found a spine. They were wondering whether it was yours.

- Take a course in dealing with humans.

- You are an insensitive, anal retentive a**hole who lacks the ability to manage even a one-block paper route!

- On a daily basis, thousands of innocent people are killed or maimed in various accidents...why not you?

- Find employees who don't intimidate you.

- If you were on fire, I wouldn't piss on you. Instead, I'd purchase marshmallows and invite everyone else to eat.

- You are a small and petty person with deep-rooted emotional problems. You'll die penniless and alone. Don't worry, though - I'm sure you'll see it all as someone else's fault.

- I hope your cat gets pregnant with your child.

- I hope a flesh-eating virus infects you.

- Please allow me to feel good about myself and the job I do, without being resentful of my good feelings and self-esteem.

- Your controlling demeanor needs to be looked at, probably in intense therapy.

- I personally would not be upset if you choked on a chicken bone!


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Comments:
OMG, I think I have thought most of these at one point or another! Damn me for not writing them down and getting credit!
 
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