b Self-Helpless: True Tales of a Working Girl: Office Romances for Dummies, Part III

9/25/2006

 

Office Romances for Dummies, Part III

The last thing I mentioned about dating a coworker was to keep your personal business personal. Lock those secrets up like Fort Knox!

Here is today’s tidbit: Regardless of what you do to cover it up, you will eventually be found out. For me and my Significant Other, that came a year and a half into our relationship. My guess is that management put 2-and-2 together when my S.O. and I took vacation at the same time and ended up in Paris together. Boy, what a coincidence!

Now, I should mention that no one knew about it until the day before we left. Even then, we only told one or two of our friends. But again, you tell someone about a trip to Europe, that news will spread. Where we worked, traveling overseas was a big deal.

That said, I should mention that we were not in violation of any company policy. Intra-office dating was certainly permissible provided that it wasn’t between a manager and a direct subordinate. Although he and I worked in the same department, we were in separate groups and therefore we did not actually work together in any respect.

Still, word got out. I know I mentioned it two days ago, but it warrants repeating: things changed from then on. Management never said “Boo” to me about it (probably because they were not legally allowed to do so), but I know it hung over my head.

People have asked me if I would have done things differently if I’d known then what I know now. My answer is NO! I conducted myself like a professional as did my S.O. and there was never anything that could be said negatively about our behavior. It took eighteen months for anyone to take notice! It took others even longer. That should say something about our level of discretion.

So here’s the thing: Know your company’s policy on dating before you jump to it. Most companies however, don’t have a policy. It’s still crucial to keep in mind how your relationship will be perceived by others. Will it be frowned upon or not? Will you become a professional pariah or will things remain unchanged?

These are things that can affect your reputation so you need to know what you’re doing before you do it. Trust me on this one; I know A LOT about it!

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Comments:
are you kidding....the level of discretion was so high that I took the train home with both of you for over a year and was completely clueless! Talk about keeping it a secret. :-)

They were probably just jealous! those misarable freaks!
 
You can add me to the clueless group. I'm always the last to know.
 
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